Raiza's Burden

Chapter 39 She is in Me

Siddharth sat on the balcony, trying to relax and clear his mind after the emotional conversation with his father. The night was calm, and he could see a few stars shining in the sky. As he took a deep breath, hoping to find calm, a piercing scream echoed through the house.

Startled, Siddharth jumped and rushed inside, following the sound. His heart pounded in his chest, fear gripping him. He knew the voice belonged to Raiza, and he couldn't bear the thought of something happening to her. He dashed towards the kitchen and found Raiza, her face contorted with pain, holding a knife in her hand and blood dripping from her dress. Panic surged through Siddharth as he realized she had cut open the sutures on her abdomen.

"Raiza!" he called her name softly.

Her glazed eyes looked at him. Her cheeks, marked with old and fresh tear marks, looked haunting. "Put down the knife!" he pleaded, trying to keep his voice steady despite the fear in his heart.

He could see the desperation and madness in her haunted look. "It hurts, Sid. I can't bear this pain," she cried, her voice trembling.

Siddharth took slow steps towards her, trying not to alarm her further. "I know it hurts, but we need to stop the bleeding. Let me help you, please."

But Raiza seemed lost in her agony, unaware of her actions. The knife trembled in her grip, and Siddharth could feel the weight of the situation bearing down on him. He needed to act quickly.

"Raiza, listen to me. We can get through this together. But you have to put down the knife," he urged, his voice gentle yet urgent.

Her eyes met his, and for a moment, he saw a flicker of recognition. He could see she was scared, and he knew he had to stay strong.

"Trust me, Raiza. I'm here for you," Siddharth said, his voice unwavering as he reached out to take the knife from her hand.

Reluctantly, she released her grip, allowing the knife to fall on the floor. Siddharth immediately kicked it far away from her reach.

Siddharth grabbed Raiza as she swayed and fell in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Sid," she sobbed, her body trembling against his.

Siddharth kissed her forehead. "What were you thinking, darling? Why did you do that?" he asked softly as he carried her to the sofa. Laying her down, he grabbed the first aid box. Immediately, he went to work on the open sutures.

"I heard her voice, Sid. She called me," Raiza sobbed.

Siddharth stayed quiet, listening while cleaning the open stitches and dialling the emergency number for the closest hospital.

"I woke up from a dream. It felt so real, but I wanted to be sure. I dreamt that our baby was still inside my womb. I could feel her little kicks and wanted to bring her out into the world. There was only one way to do that, so I cut my stomach. But the pain cleared the fog in my head, and I was back in this sordid reality," Raiza sobbed uncontrollably.

Siddharth held her closer.

Raiza continued, "I tried so hard to make it real in the dream. I wanted to feel her in my arms, to see her beautiful face. It felt so vivid like she was right there with us."

"It must be painful, Raiza, to experience that dream," Sid stated softly

Raiza nodded. "It was. It felt like a cruel twist of fate, making me relive the moments we never got to have. I could almost hear her laughter, and it broke my heart again." Her sobs got louder and more painful

Siddharth held her, waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

"I just miss her so much, Sid. I wanted to be her mother, hold and protect her." Raiza continued between her sobs.

The doctor had promised to send the ambulance in 10 minutes, and Siddharth was getting impatient. Raiza's condition was not looking good.

"I'm sorry, Sid. I know I'm not thinking right. But I'm not mad. Don't think that I'm mad, please," she pleaded.

Siddharth worried about her external wounds and Raiza's mental health. She was losing her grip on reality.

"Don't apologize, Raiza. We'll get through this. I will always be here for you." he declared as she stared into his eyes, looking for forgiveness.

Siddhart lightly kissed her lips and then her forehead. "I promise I will always be here."

Raiza lost consciousness in his arms as the ambulance sound blared outside his house.

"Oh God, oh God. Stay with me, Raiza. Please, be okay. We need to get to the hospital fast." Siddhart started shaking Raiza, trying to wake her up.

The medics had arrived and were surrounding them, checking for Raiza's pulse and the damage.

Raiza kept moving in and out of consciousness as they loaded her into the ambulance, and he sat with her, holding her hand.

" Raiza, hold on. We're going to the hospital, okay? Just breathe, everything will be alright." he coaxed her.

Raiza kept muttering weakly, "I... I can't believe what I did. I didn't mean to hurt myself, Sid."

"It's not your fault, Raiza. This is all my fault." Siddharth assured her. "We're going to make it, Raiza. Hold on, just a little longer."

Raiza grasped his hand suddenly. "I'm scared, Sid. I don't want to lose our baby. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me, Raiza. I'm right here, and we're going to get through this together," he assured her.

Soon, they were taken to the nearest emergency centre. The doctor examined Raiza. "We need to stop the bleeding and get her into surgery. She'll be in good hands, Siddharth," his good friend Dr. Riker assured him before the medical staff pushed Raiza into the OT and shut him out.

In the next few hours, Raiza was stitched up and moved to ICU for 24-hour monitoring. The doctors took very little time to put 2 and 2 together. The attending doctors immediately informed Siddharth that he had asked a psychiatrist to take over Raiza's treatment. They had stitched up her wounds, and she was in no immediate danger. However, the doctors were immensely concerned with her mental state and would not discharge her without a psych evaluation. Siddharth consented to let Raiza rest for the night in the ICU. He even requested a special ward for his wife for the next day.