𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 ; 𝐝𝐬

0.1

[E L A I N A  H O P E]

i lay in bed and remember the events of last night.

cyrus, my boyfriend of two years, the man who helped pick me up after my devastating breakup with daniel, asked me to marry him, and i said no.

i said no because some of my heart is still in love with daniel.

after what he did to me, i still love him.

i will always love him, no matter what.

and now i am no longer together with cyrus because he knows, that no matter how loving or how sweet or how forgiving, that no matter what, i will always love daniel.

no matter what.

sometimes when i think of daniel, i think of all our amazing memories that we had together, but i think of the rough times i had after we ended our relationship.

flashback

--

dani💞💘: please let me explain.

seen 

dani💞💘: i love you and only you.

seen

dani💞💘: please.

seen

dani 💞 💘 changed  to daniel🖕

daniel🖕: i never meant for this to happen.

me👻: yeah, well next time don't cheat on your girlfriend, and maybe you will have a successful relationship. you know, i though you loved me. i thought you were loyal enough not to go fuck some slut then go for round two the next morning, while your girlfriend is sitting there trying to get a hold of you. you're really fucked up, you know that? now instead of texting me, how about you go back to your little slut for round three. i bet that would make both of you happy (;

daniel🖕: i only love you.

me👻: how about you tell me that before you go fuck someone else.

you have blocked daniel🖕

--

the pain. the horrible, agonizing pain that wrenches my whole body is too much for me to handle.

it doesn't help when you live alone in a huge apartment. 

no one is there to help you with your depression. 

no one is there to let you cry on your shoulder.

no one.

flashback over

i still have all the texts daniel and i sent each other that day and all the days before.

 a year after my breakup, the modeling company that i work for told me they were opening a new headquarters in los angeles, so i was free to move back. so i did.

i remember a year and a half after daniel and i broke up, i was still depressed.

i had less jobs, due to the bags underneath my eyes every day.

that all changed when i met cyrus.

trust me, he was no daniel. he was not pure. he was not overly generous. he was not 100% grateful for everything he had. 

but he was something.

he actually gave me happiness.

he was the first spark in my life after daniel cheated on me.