WORDS UNSPOKEN ➸ BELLAMY BLAKE (2)

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Season 4

I don't know why I feel the way I feel now. After I "saved" everyone and destroyed A.L.I.E. I got the feeling that it wasn't the right thing to do. That I did it wrong. I feel like I shouldn't have done it. She told me the world would come to an end. And that it would be soon. She said that everyone would die. And that joining the city of lights the only change was of surviving. But I thought she was lying. We all thought she was lying. But I don't know what to think anymore.

Looking at all the dead bodies at Polis is making me sick. These are the bodies from the people I was once commander of. I can't look at them but I also can't look away. I don't want to see all the blood on them. I don't want to see their eyes looking dead at me. But I don't want to turn around and ignore it.

I sit down next to a woman who is clearly in pain. She was chipped and was bleeding really badly because of the fight. But she didn't feel it. Now she does. She feels it more than anything. I was sitting next to her until I heard someone talking very clear. Someone is accusing Clarke of stopping A.L.I.E.. While in fact it was me.

Suddenly everyone is gathering around Clarke and Bellamy whom is standing next to her and I quickly stand up. I walk towards them and push people aside to let me through. They already wanted Clarke dead. Or they just didn't like her. But for them thinking that Clarke is the cause of some people dying, then they are going to even hate her more. They are going to want her dead for something she didn't do.

''She didn't do it,'' I say slowly while I stop walking.
I can't make my way over to them because there are too many people here. I couldn't find my way through them. But as soon as I said those words they step away from me to look at the one who spoke. And when they see that it's me who spoke up they are quiet in an instant.

''Heda,'' someone says while he bows.
Then everyone bows for me and I feel respected again. But lately I can see that the people from Arkadia are respecting me too. Bowing for me even. They don't hate me anymore. Maybe some of them but not all of them.

''Stand up.''
They all listen to me and they stand up as fast as they can. Sometimes I like the power I have but sometimes I also hate it.

''Clarke didn't do anything. And I want you to stop blaming her for everything. I went into the city of light. And believe me or not, I did it to save you all. Now stop being mad and help getting this city clean again,'' I say starting to walk away again.

When I stood there talking I just blacked out. Some of the words I wanted to say didn't come out of my mouth. I stop walking when I see two men carrying someone who looks dead. Until they shout that he's alive. I quickly run towards them and they place the guy on the ground. They shout for a healer and I look up when they say the word king.

''Roan?'' I ask them.
They look at me and one of them nods. I turn Roan around and barely recognize him. There's blood on his face and a lot of dirt.

''Abby!'' I shout for her.
Instead of Abby, Clarke runs towards me and I was about to get angry at her until I see Abby running behind her. Clarke is a good healer but she is not trained like Abby.

Abby looks if Roan is still alive and they wanted to help him up to bring him somewhere to help him survive but they are stopped when the sound of a sword is heard. I'm pulled up by my hair and the sword presses against the skin of my neck. I don't like this. I survived and now I'm going to die.

''Get away from our king,'' the one who is having the sword against my neck says.
I don't know who she is but if she doesn't take the sword away quickly I'm going to kill her. She would have her own sword in her chest right now. But then again, I swore to myself that I wasn't killing anymore. But I also told myself that if it is needed then I could do it.