WORDS UNSPOKEN ➸ BELLAMY BLAKE (2)

{004}

I still can't believe that this is happening to me. There is a little human being in my stomach and it's growing fast. Too fast but apparently it's normal for someone like me. After Abby told me that I'm pregnant and after Clarke comforted me I got out of the room to find Luna. Since she is also a nightblood I thought that maybe she would know more how it works. And I also wanted to ask her something else.

She explained to me that my blood is better to survive radiation. And because of that the baby is also a nightblood. I'm growing a little bit faster than everyone else. And that makes the baby grow faster as well. But that's all that Luna knows.

''That's not the only reason why you came, is it?'' Luna asks me while she looks me in my eyes. She's still not fully better but the both of us realized that she's the only one that will get better because she's a nightblood. The blisters on her face are slowly fading away with every minute. I shake my head at her question and take a deep breath.

''If something happens to me and the baby is already born.... I want you to take care of it when I'm gone,'' I say with tears in my eyes. I don't know what is going to happen to me in the future. Maybe I don't survive giving birth to my baby because I know that it can happen. Or maybe I die because of the radiation. There are a lot of things that can happen. And when one of those things happen I want Luna to take care of my child.

She smiles at me and hugs me. I hug her back and a tear rolls down on my cheek.
''Of course I will take care of it when something happens to you. But I'm also going to make sure that nothing is going to happen to you,'' she says. I smile at her words and I let her go.

''Now, does Bellamy know?'' she asks me.
I look down and shake my head. I'm afraid that if I tell him he's going to get angry. Or worse, leave me. And if that happens then I don't know what I'm doing here anymore. I don't want him to leave me.

''Yes, he does,'' a voice other than Luna says. I look up and turn around. With tears in my eyes I look at Bellamy. I think that Clarke already told him. But he's not looking angry but also not looking sad or happy. He's just looking shocked. Like he can't believe that it's true.

''I'm going to be a dad?'' he asks not believing that it's true. I close my eyes and look at the ground again not wanting to answer his question. I don't want to ruin his life. I just don't. But I realize that I already have.

''Yes, Bellamy. You're going to be a dad,'' Luna answers his question for me when she sees that I'm not capable of doing that. I feel her hand slip in mine and I look at her with a smile. At least one of us is happy. Suddenly she lets go of my hand.

Someone wraps his arms around my waist and holds me close against his body. And I know it's not Luna because she's looking at me with a smile and she's standing up to walk away. So that only leaves Bellamy. I slowly put my arms around his neck not really understanding why he's hugging me.

''Why aren't you happy about this?'' he asks me while he looks at me frowning.
''How can I be happy about this? We are all going to die in a few months and I'm not ready to be a mom,'' I say.

Bellamy places his hands on my cheeks and he presses his forehead against mine.
''You're going to be an amazing mom. And we are going to raise this child the best we can. If you want to,'' he whispers. I take a deep breath and nod. If he wants to do this than I have to agree. I can't just give away the baby or kill it or whatever just because I don't want it. Bellamy is here too and he has as much say in it as I do.

''I need some air,'' I say after a few seconds. Bellamy nods and he lets me go. I stand up slowly but Bellamy stops me before I can walk away.
''I'm going out with someone and I was wondering if you would like to come with me,'' he says.