WORDS UNSPOKEN ➸ BELLAMY BLAKE (2)

{016}

I've been sitting with Clarke for a while now. At first they didn't want me here with Clarke, they wanted her to feel like a prisoner, but I convinced them. Bellamy is talking to the woman, who's name I figured out is Diyoza, and he's trying to make a deal with her and her people.

I wasn't allowed to go with Bellamy because Diyoza apparently was intimidated by me. She should be. I don't trust her and whoever I don't trust should be scared.

I look at Clarke and smile at her. I just can't believe that she is alive. I spent almost six years thinking that she was dead and now she's here next to me. It's still a surprise to see her sitting here next to me, alive, but I knew she would survive the praimfaya. She's strong. 

"You know, I tried to talk to you for over six years. There was a radio on the ark and I used it everyday in the hope that one day you would respond... you never did," I say softly.
Clarke looks at me and i can see the tears forming in her eyes.

It makes me so sad that she had to survive for six years down here without any help. I know that she eventually met Madi and that her life became a little bit better with the girl in her life but it must have been really hard to know that we were all up there or down in the bunker and she was the only one on actually trying to survive.

We never had it tough on the ark. Even though it felt like it. We had our ups and downs but it was never as difficult as it must have been for Clarke. We should have gone down sooner. I regret that we didn't. Maybe we wouldn't have been in this mess either if we came back down sooner. 

''I never heard you, but I talked back. I did the same. I talked to you guys for six years but no one talked back. Or so I thought... I just never heard any of you,'' Clarke tells me.
The tears are now resting on her cheek and I take her hand. There are no words to explain how much I missed her.

''I missed you so much.''
I put my arms around her and keep her close against me. A part of me knows that she's not going anywhere now that we are here. But another part of me is scared that if I look away she will disappear.

I wanted to tell her about Lincoln but suddenly the door opens and Bellamy walks into the room. I let go of Clarke knowing that he wants to give her a hug too. They were like best friends when we were all down here. Of course they had fights but they always forgave each other. And when Bellamy went up in space and Clarke stayed down he was devastated. We all were.

While Bellamy and Clarke talk and hug I look out of the room. There are a few men standing with weapons in the hallway probably here to make sure we don't do anything stupid that would ruin everything. That's why I look away. Because if I keep looking I will eventually kill them and that would be stupid and ruin everything.

Suddenly I hear Raven's voice and I look back at the two important people in my life. Clarke is talking to Raven through the radio.
''Can I talk to her when you're done?'' I ask Clarke.

Bellamy and Clarke both look at me and they nod their heads. I really need to talk to Raven and let her know that what she did was stupid. And I also needed to tell Murphy that he is stupid for staying up there.

When Clarke is done she hands me the radio and waits for whatever I have to say.
''You guys go ahead, I wanted to talk to Raven in privacy if that's okay with you,'' I say.
I'm the only person besides Raven and Murphy who knows that they aren't going to come down because there's no other ship. I don't want Clarke and Bellamy knowing that. It would ruin them and they're just happy.

Once they're gone I look at the radio in my hand and wonder what I'm going to say to her. It feels like I'm saying goodbye to them even though it isn't really. They're not dead, yet.