Unwritten

The Mother's Madness

I am scared awake-with the same raging headache from last night-by my phone blaring next to my face at 3:30 am. Although, now that I'm awake, I don't remember setting my alarm for work. At least I won't be late for work. Keeping in mind that my parents don't know I have this job, I quietly get up to grab food from the kitchen.

The green and red bell peppers are in the refrigerator outside while the eggs are inside so I grab the peppers first, on my way to the kitchen. I hear my mom attempt to sneak down the steps but the sound of her house slippers smacking the bottom of her feet is too distinguishable from a silent household. She walks down, guns blazin'. "What the hell are you doing?" I hear her whisper-shout as she reaches the bottom of the steps. Great. She's mad and it isn't even 4:00 am yet.

"I'm making my breakfast because you failed to pay my account at the school café again so I won't be able to eat when I get to school." I say with resentment dripping off my tongue. Immediately I knew I should not have said that. It will turn into something that this shouldn't have been. The look on her face confirms it. She looks taken aback that I had stood up to her but quickly composes herself. But then, her facial expression swiftly changes to anger.

"Well if you got off your lazy ass and got a job you'd be able to pay for it yourself." If only she knew. She began to raise her voice from a whisper. She's going to wake up dad soon and that never ends well.

"Look Mom, I have two things to say. One, I've tried to get a job but whenever I apply and actually qualify you always come up with some bull-shit excuse as to why I can't have a job. Second; even if you did let me get a job, if it was as easy as that, why don't you go get one?" She was quiet for a moment as she tries to think of a comeback. "It isn't because of the baby.I can tell you that for damn sure." I interrupt her thinking. "It's because you're the lazy one. I cook. I clean. I take care of the baby. Your child. You sleep, eat and drive. And even then the only reason you drive is because you won't let me drive with the kids anywhere, even though I'm a safer driver than you. So just stop." I said everything in what feels like one breathe. She looks hurt but I don't care. She's only faking it. That's what she does. She's a narcissist. "Woe is me."

When she realizes I am having none of it, her expression changes, relaxes, again in the time it takes to blink. See? I knew she was faking it. She huffs, sighs and walks away.

My eggs almost burnt during our little spout; I wasn't paying attention to them. The edges of the eggs is a little brown and the bottom is darker than I'd normally like but the yolk is still runny so for all intents and purposes, they are perfect. I pour myself half a cup of fresh orange juice and get wheat bread out of the cupboard. There is nothing like an egg and cheese sandwich with a little bit of sauteed tomato slices. So I throw a slice on the skillet for a minute just to warm it up and get the tanginess of sundried tomatoes. Once I sit down, I get my phone and turn on the news.

Bad News. There was another disappearance in town; it was one of the guys, Sam, that work in the shop with Mason and I. We are gonna have a rough day. He won't want to go to the gym with me. I can't go without him though so maybe we'll go to the river or something to walk along the beaches; it's where he can think clearly and process things better.

I finish eating and go to my room to put on a pair of my thick, work jeans, boots and a T-shirt. I brush my shoulder length, brown-blonde, hair into a loose ponytail with an elastic headband. I text Mason I was on my way, grab my reflective vest, my glasses, and my keys.

I arrive at the HQ and the front gate has been locked. The main office won't be officially open until six, so I can't have the receptionist open the gate; she isn't even here yet and no one is due for the team meeting for another thirty minutes. It's just wonderful to drive 45 miles just to realize the damn gate is locked, and everyone is scattered around different work sites. Now I have to sit around here for 30 damn minutes; just wonderful. I call my boyfriend about twenty-five minutes after getting to the site. "Where the hell are you guys?"

"We're on five." Five is what Mason and I call the fifth site; it's less confusing that way, to us. "We're looking for anything that the cops might need to give to Sam's family."

"What do you mean?" Wouldn't the cops keep it for evidence?

"They found him earlier this morning... We got all his personal stuff out of the truck. We're starting to look on the sites he's worked on for the past week." Mason gave me the rundown. The autopsy reports say he drowned - his greatest fear - but was found nowhere near water.

I felt a sort of disconnect when Mason said that the police had found the body."That's a little suspicious to me, shouldn't they keep the investigation open?" He started talking to some of the guys on his team. "Okay well if you guys need any help I'll be in the studio." I hung up.

Mason had built a room attached to the shop for me to work in when there wasn't anything to do and we called it the studio. I usually painted and sketched things out and if there was stuff the guys needed sketched out for blueprints they'd just come in and ask me. That was my job. I got paid pretty good money too.

I waited about five more minutes for someone with keys to show up and let me in. Sal scales around the corner in his truck. "Heya. Mason said you'd need keys. I made you a set."

"Oh cool. Thanks." I take the keys he is handing me out of his window and test the color coded key that is matching the color of the lock. It unlocks with a soft click, barely audible under the sound of rocks being spit out from beneath Sal's tires as he tears out of the drive. He was probably upset; Sal and Sam had been partners for the last two or three years.

I go into the studio and start sketching a base for a painting, getting all my frustration out on a canvas. I begin with drawing a picture of a girl that is standing in a dark tunnel with evil spindle hands reaching out for her. The drawing looked dark and lonely just as I had imagined it.

I don't recognize I am crying until a big drop hit the canvas. I only realize how upset I am until my whole body starts quaking. Not only is my family deadbeat; they're making me one too. I'm not allowed to get a job. When I make it clear I'm doing work for school, I suddenly have to babysit Lane. If I get any sort of money for helping a neighbor or from helping friends with chores, it's stolen and spent on something my parents "need".

"Lily? Are you okay?" Mason whispers, standing at the door. His short brown hair was disheveled from working and his skin, pink from the morning chills of a southern winter. "What happened?" He asks me carefully, not wanting to upset me more. "Was it Sam? I didn't think you two were very close. If you need a minute, I can leave." I shake my head no.

"My mom yelled at me this morning for making breakfast and I basically told her it was her fault because she didn't pay for my lunch account. She turned it on me and said I needed to get a job. We've talked about this before. But I-"

"She won't let you get one though so how the hell does she expect you to get one if she won't sign off on them?" He interrupts me, already knowing what I was going to say. I nod.

"But I started thinking about all that. How they keep digging me into this hole. There is no way in hell I'll be able to dig myself out." He nods waiting for me to go on but I have nothing left to say. Out of breath and angry, I coughed, "That's it. I'm just tired of their shit. They think ruining my life will help them validate themselves and it's really pissing me off. I can't get emancipated because I can't get a job or sustain myself on my own and in this state I have to have parents' permission."

"I know Lily. It'll be okay..." He stalks across the room to hug me. "You've gotta go to school." He told me reminding me what time it was. I fill out my time card. "Your mom still doesn't know does she?" Mason asks as I walk to the shop door I shake my head. "Are you going to tell her anytime soon?" Mason follows close behind.

"If I tell her that I'm working she'll take all the money I've earned, think of some excuse to make sure I can't work here anymore and spend the stolen money on pampering herself." He nods, understanding my predicament. "I love you." I tell him as I stretch up to kiss his forehead. He lifts his head just in time for me to kiss his lips.

"I love you more." He says hugging me and laughing at the redness of my cheeks.

"I love you more." I laugh. "You know what that means?" I ask, starting a joke. He looks at me confused.

"It means one of us is lying." I tell him, as he walks me out to my car. I heard him laugh as I got in the car, reacting to my dumbfoundedness. "That was really delayed." I say out of the open window. I pull out of the gravel parking lot, throwing up rocks as my tires grappled for some sort of traction, passed the gate and started towards school.