BETA MINE (mxm || lgbtq)

Part 1

J A V I E R

"Spit it out Beta." Alpha Tyke growls and I sigh loudly from the seat in front of his desk.

"Have you ever heard of a shifter being separate from his wolf if he's not an Alpha?" I ask and Tyke scowls at me.

"Yes. It is very rare. Most times it's during times of an emotional height of epic proportions. Like when a mate dies or a pup. That's how a shifter goes feral. The animal takes over and the human is lost." Alpha Tyke responds looking at me in a way that makes my wolf pace.

"Why are you asking about this?" Alpha asks and I sigh.

"It happened to me last night but I didn't go feral. Abalon wants to move back in the pack house with Avery." I supply and Alpha's eyebrows lift in a way that tells me to continue.

"He bargained with Abalon and got a pretty sweet deal if you ask me." Alpha smiles at me and I smile back.

"He'll be moving back with Avery but he agreed to date me." I can't contain my excitement as I slap the table in front of me.

"Congratulations." Alpha stands and comes around his desk and offers me his hand and I shake the limb but then I'm pulled so close to the man I can smell Ivan on him under his bath soap.

"I trust you with my life Beta and you have given me reason to doubt you after the way you have treated my war wolf." Tyke latches his paw of a hand around the back of my neck as he presses his forehead to mine.

"Do not think that you could get away a second time Javier. I will exact vengeance on you if you break him again." Tyke's claws come out and I can feel the coolness of the tips resting against my flesh.

"I will strip you of your title here, transfer you to another pack after having you reject Abalon as yours and you will never set eyes on that pup of yours ever again." I growl lowly at the promise in his words.

"Do not let me down brother. Not again. Your first mistake was lusting after my mate and your second mistake was harming my battle wolf. There will be no third mistakes Javier. This is no threat. This is my promise to you." I nod forcing my hands to remain at my sides and not rub the spot his claws dragged against when he releases me.

"Now that I have given you my piece it's about time you find Ivan and make your peace with him." I nod again. I never had the time to speak with Ivan since the incident and I never sought him out after Avery was born.

I never took Avery to meet him. It would hurt Abalon too much if his baby came home smelling like Ivan.

I find Ivan in the library reading to the pups that will be starting pre-school soon. I wait until the book is finished before asking if we can talk. He shoos the children out with their sitters and I take a seat across from him.

"What is it Javier?" Ivan smiles at me and I gulp. Just spit it out.

"I love you."

"Um... I love you too." Ivan says it awkwardly like you would a family member.

"I was in love with you Ivan." I begin and put a hand up to stop Ivan's words when he gasps loudly.

"I loved you since we were kids playing hide and seek. I never stopped even when I found Abalon. My wolf wanted him so badly but I wanted you even after you mated with Tyke." Ivan looks at me in a way that makes me hate myself.

"I never let myself feel anything for Abalon and when he almost died it came raging at me." I rub at the spot above my heart remembering the pain of almost losing my mate.

"I felt it all and I'm still feeling it. I know I loved you Ivan but what I feel for Abalon... it out matches whatever I thought I felt for you." I tell him and it is truth. What I felt for Ivan pales to what I'm feeling when I think of my mate.

"I am at fault too Javier." Ivan says and I look to him, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"What?" I ask dumbly.

"I knew you held me close to your heart and I never rebuffed you or even set boundaries between us because you were the only constant in my life. Then I got Tyke and I became selfish. I wanted you both. Tyke for my mate and you as the only family I ever had after my parents left to travel the world." Ivan buries his face in his hands.

"I kind of knew you loved me more than I loved you but you never acted on it. You never shoved anything sexual at me and I thought it was just a phase." Ivan looks me in the eyes and I sigh.

"I guess we're both at fault."

"I never meant to hurt you or Abalon. I didn't know you guys never completed your mating. It is only now I am figuring out why there were snickers and off handed comments when Abalon walked into a room. Oh Goddess he must hate me!" Ivan cries. "How could I not notice you bare no mark?" Ivan asked more to himself. "Oh, I'm such an oblivious idiot. I'm not fit to be a Luna!" Ivan cries harder.

"Abalon doesn't hate you." I reassure him even though I'm not sure. I'd hate Ivan and myself if I was in Abalon's place.

I feel sorry for Ivan as he sobs but I do not feel the need to be by his side. That is his mate's job; to comfort him. Instead of going to his side like I used to I linked Alpha Tyke to come find his mate in the library.

We can't form full sentences but it's like a telepathic hand shake with intent. He knows he's needed by me urgently.

Alpha is at Ivan's side and I go off to find my mate. That's the person I'm meant to be next to.

I find him dancing with Avery in his arms while he hums in tune with the radio. All I Want For Christmas. I smile at the cheerful sight.

I watch as Abalon moves gracefully reminding me of how well he can dance. I watch greedily as his hips sway seductively to the upbeat tune. I want this every year for the rest of my life. Abalon dancing around our home. Maybe a pup or two more.

Oh fuck! It's the beginning of December! Just a couple of weeks away from Christmas.

"You'll be spending Christmas with me right?" I ask and Abalon comes to an abrupt stop.

"Huh?" he asks confused.

"Christmas is in three weeks and I want you and my pup to spend it with me apart from the annual pack dinner." I am hopeful that he won't say no outright judging by the horror on his face.

"Christmas is in three weeks!" he shrieks and I frown.

"Yea..."

"Oh Goddess I'm so behind on shopping!" Abalon looks like somebody murdered his pet rabbit.

"Um I can look after Avery if you want?" I offer and Abalon turns his wide eyes to me.

"Thank you." he whispers and Avery makes a beautiful cooing sound when I step towards them.

"Here hold him while I finish up my packing." Abalon says and it was the equivalent of dousing me in ice cold water laced with liquid silver.