BETA MINE (mxm || lgbtq)

Part 1

A B A L O N

Everything happens on fast forward. I can't recall how I got into the clinic standing over Javier's corpse while it rests peacefully on a table. I know he can't feel anything but I hate that he's placed on his back.

"Abalon? I called Yana. She'll be here to do the burial preparations." I can only nod. I don't even know who is speaking.

I want to say that I'd do it but it's no longer my right. We aren't mates. We're nothing to each other than co-parents and now he's just dead.

He looks as if he's just sleeping apart from his unusual paleness. Javier's ethnicity always provided him with a healthy tan even in winter but now he's white as a sheet with almost blue lips.

I didn't even get to say good bye. I don't even know how I'm going to move on from here. It's just Avery and I now... Oh God Avery.

"Avery..." I'm out of the clinic in search of my pup. The only part of Javier that I do have now.

I follow my nose and find my pup in my father's arms still. My mother reeks of blood standing next to him. It takes everything in me to not snatch Avery out of their grasp. It's bad enough that his innocent eyes have been raped by me. I made him watch his father's death.

"Abby..."

My head snap in my father's direction and I can feel my mother's glare on me.

"Give him to me." I reach out for my baby and my father hands him over.

"Abalon." It's my mother's voice that calls me. I can't face her. I can't.

"Please... Aba." I pause. Kayla Penn does not beg. She knows not the meaning of begging. She knows how to demand and take what she wants. Yet I can't look at her. I just can't.

"I'm taking Avery to see his father before he is cremated." I walk away. My limbs carrying me and holding Avery with strength I feel as if I no longer possess.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry baby-boy." I whisper into his hair. I can't believe I didn't let somebody take him out of the room when Javier was being whipped.

I re-enter the clinic and the stench of death reach my nostrils. Avery shifts restlessly in my arms. I know Avery can smell his sire. I know he can smell that something is wrong with Javier's scent. He may not understand it but he knows something is not right.

I stand at the door with Avery jostling about in my arms but I can't enter.

I can't take another ounce of my baby's innocence.

I can't let Avery see Javier like that.

Maybe on the day of the burial when his body is washed and spiced and dressed in burial robes.

I turn around and head straight for Javier's house. Avery now screaming in my arms the further we get away from Javier's scent. The moment we enter the house I go straight to his closet and take one of his shirts out. I lay Avery on his bed and give him the shirt to play with. The scent calms him. His father's scent unmarred by death.

How long will the scent last? I wonder before it fades from inside these walls.

I feed Avery and we both fall asleep on Javier's sheets. It is Yana that wakes me. Her gentle shaking on my shoulder.

I want to cry when I see her swollen eyes. She takes me in her arms as if I'm a baby and then I let loose. We hold each other for a while and she whispers words of comfort to me.

"Abalon I've made the preparations already." Yana says when we both gather our emotions. I just nod.

"At dusk the ceremony will begin." I nod again.