Royal Temptations

Chapter 5

I'm five chapters in and still don't have a title, which is bad, because I need one for what I have planned.

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Yixing's POV

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I held my, still, unopened gift in my hands, turning it over and over. But that didn't beat what was happening to my insides. I sighed, setting the small package down and raking my fingers through my hair harshly, trying to will away my cluttered feelings. I picked up the gift once again, settling it comfortably on my lap. A part of me wanted to open it, and another part wanted to leave it just as it was, as a reminder of the sweet boy I was beginning to get to know.

I'd given Luhan the remainder of the night off. Large in part because he had spent the majority of this trip by my side. But also because I'd wanted some time to myself. I laid down, holding the package to my chest. Why did my heart beat so quickly every time his name crossed my thoughts? I didn't understand. I sat up, staring down at my gift, admiring the pretty paper. I finally decided to tear away the wrapping, being mindful not to destroy it. I'd keep it as a souvenir.

"Oh?" I asked aloud as I now held a simple wooden box. I cocked an eyebrow, then opened the box. Soft music filtered out, and I smiled. "A music box," I whispered delightedly, lying down once again. I set the box beside me, closing my eyes. How did he know that I loved music boxes? I used one to get to sleep back home. I wondered briefly if that's why I hadn't been able to sleep.

I let the soft music wash over me, relaxing my tensed muscles. I attempted to redirect my thoughts, but they seemed to want to go in circles. How was Junmyeon's date going? Did he like her? Could he possibly love her? What were they talking about? What if he liked her more than he liked... I shook that last thought aside, giving myself a good mental scolding. Not gonna happen Xing. Not even in your dreams. But with each new question my mind conjured up, the worse I felt inside.

I didn't want to picture it, though I could. Junmyeon and his date, sitting across from each other at some chic little diner, laughing and talking like nothing else in the world mattered. Maybe he'd try cheesy pick up lines on her. Or maybe he'd say nothing but sweet and kind words. His eyes would sparkle as he gazed across at her, a shine I'd only seen a small fraction of times. What if he really did fall in love tonight?

"Overthinking as usual?" I cracked an eye open to see Luhan hovering over me, the worry etched clearly on his face. "Tell me Xing," he added, sitting beside me. "Tell me as a friend and not as an advisor or caregiver. Do you like Junmyeon?" For the longest time, I said nothing, mulling over how I actually felt.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. A part of me thought so. But the other, larger part of me screamed no, I wasn't. I couldn't. "I just... I can't..." I couldn't even think of the words to describe the turmoil I felt inside. But Luhan sat quietly, ever the listening ear I needed. "Something inside me feels...weird."

"Oh?" Luhan asked. "What do you mean?"

"Just..." I paused, staring off into space to collect my thoughts. "I thought about the two of them together. I didn't like it. What if he falls in love with her?" I felt tears forming, and I cursed every god who was listening for making me feel so weak and helpless when it was far from the truth. "I couldn't even stop him if I wanted to. But what if he smiles that special smile for her instead? What if he looks at her like she's the whole world."

"Wouldn't that be a good thing?" Luhan asked, a guarded edge to his voice. I sighed.

"Perhaps," I said at last. "After all, isn't that what our parents want? Don't mother and father wish for me to fall in love like that too? But with someone who can carry on the royal blood and not..." I stopped abruptly. "Why?" I asked him. "Why couldn't I just be normal? Why couldn't I just make this easy on myself?"