Royal Temptations

Chapter 18

It cooled off enough to actually comfortably sit outside heck yeah. Also I now have to wait to post until this one is done. Not for any particular reason. Just because I want to constantly stay ahead of myself.

A double update for the birthday chick woo! (gotta slow down a bit on the updates after this or I'm going to catch up to myself and I really don't want that)

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Junmyeon's POV

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I still love you.

I sat behind my desk in my office, gazing at a map of the world and letting my thoughts run utterly wild. It was three in the morning, yet sleep eluded me this night. I sighed heavily, blinking a few times to bring the world back into focus. Yixing's confession replayed over and over in my mind like a broken record, rendering me incapable of thinking of anything else.

I still love you.

And damn if my heart didn't stop in that instant. Though a part of me was still waiting for the just kidding strung across the end. Or I wake up from this dream and nothing would change. But the longer this went on, the more I doubted he was kidding. The less this seemed like my overactive imagination making up scenarios. And I felt horribly guilty about it.

I still love you.

I groaned and slammed my fists down on the desk, rattling it and nearly spilling papers over the edge. A glass of water wobbled precariously but tipped upright at the last second. I sighed heavily once again, sinking back in my seat. Father warned that being king was taxing, but he never mentioned this. He never mentioned how confused I'd feel. Then again this was my battle to fight. And I was fighting it alone.

"Knock knock." I looked up wearily as a voice called out into the darkness. "Junnie, what are you doing up?" my mother asked, stepping into the circle of light my desk lap provided. "It's the middle of the night."

"I could ask you the same thing," I said instead. "I was just..." I looked down at the map, realizing I hadn't been doing anything at all. "I just can't sleep." There was plenty I could have been doing. In a week I was going to London for a short visit. There was a speech I had to give in a couple of days that I had to even started working on. And yet I didn't feel motivated to do any of it. "What are you doing here?" I asked her at last. "Not that I'm not happy to see you." She sat in a chair opposite me, lacing her fingers together on her lap.

"I guess I just had this feeling," she told me. "This feeling that something was going on. I came to make sure you were doing okay." I sighed quietly, closing my eyes. "A change in power can be scary," she said. "How have you been handling it so far."

"It's much the same as it has been the last couple of months," I responded, opening my eyes and scanning my desk for my laptop. I flicked it open. "Except now people call me king and not prince." There was a lot more I wanted to tell her, but I was still very hesitant. "Is there anything in particular you want to talk about?"

"Yixing." I froze, my gaze rising up to meet hers. "You really like him, huh?" I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. "You look at him the same way you father looked at me when we first met," she continued. "Like the whole world just drops away and there's no one else but the two of you. Like he's the very reason the stars shine in the sky." I gaped at her. "I'm sorry you're unhappy where you are," she added. "It was never our intention to make you miserable. But why did you never say anything to me?"

"I...I was afraid," I admitted. "You said you'd love me no matter what, but this... This was huge. And wrong. So wrong. But I wanted it to work, even for a little while. But even if it lasted, it would have in the end. Because be honest. Would I even have a future if he were a part of it?"