Royal Temptations

Chapter 34

A lot happened last chapter (I only remember cause it's only been about an hour since I wrote it lol)

Still on a roll. I haven't been this productive in a long, long time.

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Yixing's POV

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"Please Tao," I begged, holding the unmarked envelope out to him. "Please. I can't mail it myself or father will have my head. Please can you do it?" He grimaced, and my stomach sank.

"I'd get in trouble if he ever found out," was all Tao said. "I'm not his son, so he would never go lenient on me." I dropped the envelope to my lap, ducking my head as more tears pooled in my eyes. I wanted to talk to Junmyeon so bad. It had only been a week, but it felt like eons. And he'd tried. Every evening I'd get a call that broke my heart to reject. A few Skype notifications that I'd have to ignore.

It was torture.

"I'm sorry," he said at last. "I still don't fully understand. So he saw the photos and just...freaked out on you?" All I could do was miserably nod, bringing a hand up to dab at my eyes. It didn't help that every night I'd toss and turn, Ying Yue's warmth never lulling me to sleep like that music could. "That's kind of cruel. It's not like you were doing anything."

"I know that, and you know that," I responded at last. "But he doesn't." Luhan and mother were trying their best to console me during this whole ordeal, but they also ultimately bowed down to my father. They couldn't provide the one thing I wanted. "Ying Yue can't know what's going on," I mumbled as an afterthought. She'd been kept out of the loop, and I liked it that way.

"What happened exactly?" he asked at last, drawing one knee up to his chest and wrapping his arms around it. I set the letter down on the bed between us to keep from crumpling it. I sighed.

"Well, dad acknowledged the fact I'm gay, for starters," I said, and Tao's face morphed into one of utter surprise. "Basically it amounted to 'you keep your lips shut or you can kiss this throne goodbye. Oh and don't call or try to contact one of your best friends ever again.'" I sighed again, picking at a loose thread on my bedspread. "Except he doesn't seem to realize that Junmyeon helps keep me sane some days. And we really are only just friends." Tao shook his head, tisking quietly but otherwise didn't say anything. I picked up the letter again. "I just want a way to say something to him. I can only imagine I'm hurting him sending him to voicemail every night. Like I don't care about him anymore..." Which couldn't be farther from the truth. I still loved and cared for him so much.

"I'm kinda surprised by you," Tao suddenly said. "I mean you've been complacent before, but never like this."

"The only difference being that I put my whole future in jeopardy if I try," I replied. "Don't you think I'm tempted to break his rules? Because I am. Every god damn day. But I can't. I have a lot more to think about than myself. I have Ying Yue, and I have a country full of people who expect me to be ready for whatever life throws at me but I'm just... not..." I trailed off, playing with my fingers and avoiding eye contact once again. "This is only the top of the iceberg. Can I handle what the rest of my life will be like? Because he was right on one thing. I am gay. I have been for literal years. But I also know that I have to hide that part of myself for as long as I'm king. Zip your lip and do your part, and don't you dare stray away from the norm."

"Wow," was all Tao could muster, but I could tell my words were having some kind of affect on him by the way his face contorted. It felt kind if good to finally admit it out loud though. Even if it was the very thing that could kill me. "I guess I never knew that. You being gay, I knew that part. But not the others. Are you sure you want to be king in a month?" I side-eyed him.