Back to life, Back to a lie

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tw for references to attempted suicide, references to selfharm
[connor doesnt actually smoke in this fic :) ]

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He could hear, but he couldn't move. He couldn't see even when he tried to open his eyes, and he couldn't say a word. It was like he was completely frozen, but warm.

The first few weeks his family visited. They came altogether at first, never saying too much of anything. Larry stopped coming eventually, which Connor wasn't suprised at at all.

Zoe and his mom eventually started coming separately from each other. Zoe never said anything, but it was as if he could feel her staring. She hugged him once, and stopped coming after that.

Cynthia was very talkative, her voice tired and yet she seemed a bit hopeful. The longer he stayed asleep, the quieter and more tired she became. The last day she visited, she broke down into tears.

She didn't come back after that, and he was alone with his darkness and the beeping of the heart monitor.

The silence was interrupted one day, when he heard an unfamiliar voice greet him.
"H-hi Connor," the person said, their voice seeming void of emotion. "It's Evan. Evan Hansen? I'm sorry I fucked up your life." he said, with a dark chuckle that was the saddest fucking thing Connor had ever heard. He had no idea what Evan was talking about, but it wasn't like he could ask, or do much of anything but listen. So that's what he did.

"The doctors said you couldn't hear me. That m-might be true, but since you're still alive and not d-dead like I was told, I just- had to tell you. They said you won't wake up," Evan said, his voice a bit quieter, "But my mom's a doctor too, and she thinks there's still hope."

"The C-Connor Project was a mistake. An irreversible mistake that's going to follow me my entire life, but it made up your entire 'life'," Evan said, seeming a bit choked up, "I- I turned you into s-some fictional ch-character who wasn't anything like you. I l-lied to your family, T-to your sister, to g-get them to love me, a-and I never even r-really f-felt bad about it unt-til-" he paused, sniffling, and although Connor couldn't see him it was obvious he was crying, "people started getting m-mad, asking q-questions I cou-ou-ouldn't answer. And then I told them it was lie. Because of you. But it wasn't really you, w-was it?" he sniffed, "It was just another lie. I'm sorry, Connor."

It was silent for a moment, and then Evan cleared his throat, "Do you remember what you said when you signed my cast? 'Now we can pretend we have friends.' ... I wonder if you would still be like this if I asked to actually be friends. Maybe that would've helped. Not that I think that someone as terrible as me could keep you from attempting.. that..but.. I just can't help but wonder. I'm rambling, I'm sorry."

Evan continued talking, and he came back the next day, and the next. Most days Connor couldn't even register what he was talking about, but it was nice that he cared enough to show up when his own family stopped showing. Eventually Evan must've ran out of things to talk about, because he started bringing books and reading them outloud.

"In a forest primeval, the towers Good and Evil. Try to escape, you'll always fail, for the only way out is through a fairytale," Evan was reading one day, and then he suddenly stopped. If Connor could do anything besides listen and breathe, he would probably hit Evan for stopping in the middle of the story, but as he listened he realized Evan was crying.

"I wish you would wake up. Even if you hate me for what I did, I just wish you would wa-"

Connor suddenly felt a sharp pain in his chest, and his breath seemed to speed up. He heard Evan yell out and the moniter beeping faster, heard other people usher him out of the room and about three people run over to him. (a/n ive never been in a coma or known someone in one so i dont know how they're stabilized,,, bear with me, readers, lets pretend i know what im doing)