Angel

chapter 21

I pull out of my driveway on the bike with Andrew glued to my back. Wind Rushes passed us as I keep up with the 50 mile/hour speed limit. I feel Andrew sigh in relief when we pull into the parking lot of the highschool.

"Ring ring ring!!!!!!"

We make it in the building in time for the bell. "Love you."

"Love you." I say quickly as we kiss and part our ways. Ugh. This class is all the way up stairs. Today is the beginning of the second semester so we get new classes. I continue up the stairs and down the left hallway. Olivia, and a few of her chick friends. They walk over and circle me.

"What do you want." I spit acidically at them but mostly directed towards her.

"Oh, nothing just wanted to talk." She says peppy-like.

"What." I say standing my ground.

"Don't you see, Angel? You only bring Andrew down." She says again in that cheery up beat voice. "You're no good for him."

"Stay out of my life." I whisper as I try to keep my tears in. I push past one of the girls.

"Don't tell me you don't think it too." She says just barely loud enough for me to hear.

"Leave me the fuck alone." I turn around fuming. "You don't know me. You don't don't know about my life."

"No. But i do know Andrew enough to see it in his eyes that he's not happy." That shut me up. I turn around and flee the school.

"I'm sorry I have to leave. I don't think I can do this anymore." I text him. I jump on the bike and take off. The opposite way from my house. I drive for what seems like forever. I pull over at a gas station/motel probably thirty miles away. I pay for a room with the last of my money. Room 15. My final room. I feel in my pocket and pull out that old bottle of sleeping medication I Stole from mom almost a year ago. I pour out probably 10, the white little mound of dots in my hand. I place one in my mouth. Then another. And another..... Until they are all gone.

"What?! No what do you mean.

From: Andrew, sent: 9:45AM"

"Babe? Please don't do this.... Where are you. I'm at your house.

From: Andrew, sent: 10:15"

"I will find you. please. come back for me. please... please....

From: Andrew, sent: 10:25"

I stair at my phone blindly. I pull out an old razor. I slide it acrossed my wrist. Blood oozes from the open wound. I do another up my arm. This time I feel light headed. I slash again and again. Tears flowing from my eyes. Blood dripping onto the carpet I reach for the sleeping pills I stole so long ago in my mothers kitchen I pop a few in my mouth and swallow. I miss you Susan, I'll miss you tom. So sorry.

"Dear, Andrew, Tom, And mom.

I'm so sorry. I love you all. So... so much.

Andrew, I wish I was better for you. I love you.

Tom, everything will get better I promise.

Mom. Oh, mom. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. I'm so sorry.

love, Angel"

I scribble onto some paper that is on the bed side table. I cut one last time. deeper this time. I hear quiet shouts and crashing as everything fades ever so quietly. So quiet it's peacefull.