When It Comes To You |j.k

24: 距離

I miss him more than i should. Truthfully, none of this was his fault, he'd done all he could to protect me. But the inevitable truth is that i'm here because of him. It was because of our relationship, that my life had resulted into this situation.

I can't ever bring myself to hate him.

But i can't face him either. And maybe that's what hurts the most.

I am my own obstacle.

But it hurts even more that he hasn't been trying to reach me lately. No calls, no texts, no voicemails. It's as if he's accepted it whole heartedly. He's not even trying to change my mind.

Axl's been helping me around, so that i can have an easier time adjusting. I tell him about the life outside and he trades this with information about this orphanage-though 'gossip' would be the more accurate term.

We still haven't found Lana yet, but i'm not worried. Axl grew up at where Lana is now, and he says that she's in good hands. I hope these words are not lies meant to soothe me like the one i told him a few days ago.

It's lunch time, and by default I sat myself down next to Axl. The other girl sitting by me ignores my presence and chats with the boy across from her.

"We visit the kids in your sister's section once every month. It's a type of interaction thingy that the orphanage made up, so that the kids can have other people to play with, and form a bond similar to sibling between sibling. I'm actually not too sure when it'll be, but we can look for your sister when the time comes."

"Thank you, Axl, for all this."

His gummy smile resurfaces.

"We're family now, it's only normal that i look out for you."

Family.

"Other people seem to think otherwise." I've been practically invisible to most of them, as if i've always been here.

"Well," He chuckles slightly. "Not everybody is as warm as others. Some people here are just simply waiting to go back out, to live a life separate from everyone."

"But you, for example, want to stay here and make the most of your remaining time."

He nods, "Really hoping i can have a job here and look after the younger ones. 'Won't have to rely on those monthly visits to take care of them."

He paused for continuing, "What do you want to do?"

"I used to dream about being a singer, dancer, and a whole list of magnificent things. But I think I just want to be happy, to keep things simple."

"Well...what makes you happy?

"Being with my sister."

"Maybe you work here with me then!" He beamed, and just like that a beautiful idea as planted in my mind.

"Yeah," I smile. "Maybe."

———Jungkook's

I'm suffocating.

Every time I turn on my phone i'm met with the same tab: Aera's contacts.

I want to call her, to tell her how i miss her, how i miss the way her hair feels on my skin, how i miss her bright laugh, how i want her next to me, how i love her.

i don't think i have the right to do that.

Not now, i don't.

"You alright?" Jimin nudges my shoulder and gives me the look of worry. I shake my head.

"No, not really." I let out a huff and all the other boys turn their attention to me, their expressions turning into ones like Jimin's.

"Is this about Aera not coming to school?" Namjoon asked.

I nod.

"Wait, does anyone know why she hasn't been coming?" Hoseok looked around curiously and his eyes eventually landed on mine.

"No." I lie.

They still think Aera's parents are alive. They still think that she's an only child. There's so much that they don't know, and even if they're to know, i shouldn't be the one to tell.

"Well, whatever that's happened I sure hope she's safe and well." Jin sighs, and i seem to have ruined the mood for everyone once again.

She definitely is.

Maybe what my father had done was actually the best for her, but it doesn't justify his actions. He separated us, and that was his only goal.

It wasn't about helping her. It never was.

He ripped her away from the life she had worked so hard to get back.

And that angers me more than anything ever will.