When It Comes To You |j.k

53: 變動

———Aera's

I wake up with a moment of confusion, as I felt warmth, and a loose grip around my body. Opening my eyes to see Jungkook and his bed head hair, sound asleep below me. It took me a while, but not long to recall the events of yesterday. My body is now heavy and without strength, and I don't want to know how much I'd cried to have earned such pain around my eyes. Someone might as well scoop them out of my sockets with a spoon.

I was having a mental breakdown when Jungkook came in and calmed me down. The only reason why he showed up is because I completely ruined our plans. I've got to apologize again when he wakes up.

Speaking of him waking up, I was staring at his face when he began stirring, then eventually opened his eyes to meet mine.

"How're you feeling?" Is what he says first, quietly, instead of the expected greeting.

"I'm alright." I reply as his hand left my waist to caress my head. "I'm sorry about last night, Jungkook. It was a side of me I didn't want you to see..or anyone, really."

He rolls to his side, and I slide down to lay on the mattress. I will never know the discomfort he went through to sleep with a whole body's weight on him. Yet he still let me.

"You don't have to be apologetic about it, don't worry about it." He ran his hand through my hair one last time before holding my neck and pulling me in to kiss my crown.

Jungkook shifts to lay on his back and runs his hands down his face, "You should check your phone though, Axl was looking for you too. He said you didn't show up to work." He sat up as he said this, with toned arms propped up behind him for support. Jungkook's shoulders were bare.

He's shirtless, I thought to myself. I'd kill to pull the blanket and see the rest of the view, but instead I rolled myself off the bed to fetch my phone.

Jungkook watched me as I sat at the edge of the mattress, frantically looking through Axl's texts. I could tell by the messages that he was not happy, in fact, he was very angry. I know it's out of worry. I didn't try to back myself up when I replied with apologies.

"What had you absent all day?" I heard my boyfriend's voice and the shuffling of the blanket from behind me.

"I just wasn't feeling right." The truth is that I thought of Miss Bae after looking at all the files. She took care of Lana while I went to school and worked my several jobs.
She had such a significant role in our lives..my biggest support then, maybe even my only.

I was in no headspace to worry about work, and took a trip back to our old apartment. I knocked on her door with so much anticipation, and so many unspoken words that I finally could tell her. There was so much to fill her in on, and so many words of thanks that was due. I really fell apart when the person that showed up on the other side of the door was not her.

She'd died not long ago, I was told. Miss Bae had apparently passed in her sleep, and died a peaceful death. For her kind soul, it's what she deserves. Miss  Bae watched over us and always had our back. Yet when I had the ability to, I never went to return the favour.

I went home then, and completely came undone. I've lived my life on regrets and failure. I had no reason to keep myself composed anymore. I'd finally come apart. Jungkook arrived and saw me like that. It was embarrassing really, ever since we reunited he's been chasing after me and my moods again and again. It won't be long until he realizes deserves much more than what I am.

I still remember when I was in high school. I was so strong. I rarely cried. I had myself together. I was a fighter. Things have certainly changed. I've become weak. Or maybe I was always not that strong, yet I was determined to act that tough role. Maybe that's why my emotions are so quick to catch up to me now.

"You locked yourself at home all day?" He sounded surprised as he made his way to me, with the blanket pushed to the side.

I don't know how to tell Jungkook about this, let alone Lana. I know she'd hurt the most out of us all. Jungkook never had much interaction with Miss Bae, but he's heard stories, and he knows how much she meant.

I shrug. I don't think my guilt will allow me to lie any further.

"Maybe you should take the day off, and go outside."

I lift my legs to the bed and turn around. My eyes practically drool at the sudden sight of Jungkook's abs. Sweet baby Jesus, what a man.

He covers them with his arms, which also I don't mind looking at, "Pervert. Eyes up here when I'm talking."

"I can go to work. Please put your arms down." Jungkook seemed annoyed when he obeyed.

"You're supposed to be sad. I should've kept my shirt on. Now you're just thirsty." Maybe horny, even.

"You want me to be sad?" I rose a brow as I tested him. He denied it immediately with a roll of eyes.

"What do you want, Aera." He looked at me in defeat, finally accepting that my mind isn't immune to his figure.

"Come here." Jungkook rolls his eyes at me one more time, before scooting nearer to me. I rest myself down and motion for him to lay on my chest.

He raises a brow, "What?"

"Come on, let me be the big spoon for once." I tug on his arm, he stays put.

"This isn't spooning."

I tug harder and he abides, lowering himself onto me slowly, gently, as if i was a fragile dandelion. His hair tickles on my collar bones as his arms slithered around me.

Jungkook's eyes closed and a relaxed expression appears on his face. His back muscles flex as he adjusts and I smile with my ears growing hot like black coal. Man, what a sight.

I kiss his crown, the same way he does to me. I can't blame him. I'd do this all day if I had the height for it.

"See, not so bad."

I groom through his hair, feeling our warmth intertwine as we laid skin to skin. Our legs overlapped eventually, which I secretly like. There's something pure and innocent about it.

"Jungkook, do you ever think of Bangtan?" I blurt out randomly, hand grooming through his hair.

He gave it a thought with a hum, "Sometimes," His jaw moved against my skin as he spoke.

"I used to think about them a lot," Jungkook continued, "The last time I saw them, my father just died. Three years ago, really. I've never really seen anyone after I took this job."

"Do you ever wonder where they are..what they're doing?"

"Of course. I know Taehyung would be a freelancer, no matter what he ends up doing. He hates compromising with others...Namjoon will probably still be studying, if he hasn't changed his mind, he'd be in law school..I think about it sometimes."

"Do you think Taehyung and Eunae would still be together?"

"Oh no," I felt a frown grow on my face, "They already broke when I last met them..Eunae didn't even show up."

Now that last bit really got me. I'd always assumed that it was only Jungkook and I who've been pushed off the rails. I always assumed that everyone else would still be with each other like high school. My image of them haven't had the chance to update, the possibility of them being just as detached as we are did not cross my mind.

"Everyone might all be doing their own stuff now..I wouldn't be surprised if anyone's lost contact the same way we have." Jungkook spoke with a thick swallow.

I couldn't help it when my hand fell from his hair as my gaze drifted to the ceiling, with a tear threatening to slide down my temple.

Time stings. It stings as hell.