When It Comes To You |j.k

31: 刀

I'm at home in my sweats and my chest bare, lying on the bed as I stare silently into the ceiling.

All of this, all of what my life is now, scares me and shakes me deep down to my bones. Here I am, a foolish teenager with his hair in a mess, with so much to learn and so much to experience. But then again, here I am too, a boy without his father and about to become the new owner of a number one company. A company that has the power to maintain or ruin thousands of people's lives, and they're all working under me. Me, who knows so little, and honestly, cares so little.

It's me, and myself, against the whole world.

And I really wish she was here to hold my hand. Sometimes i find myself holding my own, trying to replicate the warmth that runs through my body when she touches me. It's not the same. Nothing will ever be the same.

The doorbell rings me out of my thoughts. I sit up, sighing, eyes resting on my bedroom floor. It's a mess. A real, fucked up, mess. I slide down the mattress and my feet meet the floor..with layers of clothes and towels and papers between them.

I tip toe my way out of the room and take the elevator down to the first floor.

I groom my hair away from my forehead and swoop them towards the back, in attempt to seem a little less of a mess. It's pointless trying though, every other part of me screams tragedy, my hair just ends up looking out of place.

I look into the screen to check on the visitor and my shoulders drop down at the sight.

I lean against the door, eyes closed, "Get off my property." I tell Eunji, not feeling her worthy enough for me to waste energy on opening the door.

"Please open the door."

"I'll call the cops."

"You know you won't."

I run my hands over my face and exhale, "Fine."

I unlock the door and let it open, "Five minutes. What do you want-"

There she was, beaming, and her smile was blinding. She really is beautiful, a fact remains a fact. But her love, though it's full and warm, is selfish. Selfish and evil. It's hard to reject her, but it's even harder to accept her.

Eunji lifts up the object in her hands. It's a lunch box. She lifts up her other hand, occupied by a soup container.

"You haven't eaten, have you?"

"Eunji-"

"Didn't I tell you to hire some maids? All this money and you never think about getting someone to take care of you." She pushes her way inside, shoving me towards the door.

She said that when Haeyoung died. It was the first time out of the many times she came with a handful of food and that bright smile accompanying her.

Here she is again.

Eunji makes her way inside and she walks around the house as if she knows it like the back of her hand, and frankly, she does.

She sits everything down on the dinner table, and I reluctantly close the door, then drag my feet to follow her.

"I know you said five minutes, but I'll leave after you're done. The faster you eat, the sooner I'll leave."

I pull out the chair and sit down across from her, with boxes of food laid before me. I pick up the spoon on the side and scoop up a spoon of rice. I take the first bite, and I'd have to admit, it's fucking delicious.

Her food has always been amazing.

"Great," I mutter. "Now I owe you."

"No you don't." She grins, "Seeing you is enough for me."

"Eunji," I put the spoon down and run my hand through my hair right before they fell to my forehead, "You shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be hanging out with you either."

She isn't smiling anymore. She looks hurt. Really hurt.

"That's okay," She stutters, "It's okay if you don't want to see me. It's just that you've been going through an awful lot of things lately, I just knew that you wouldn't take care of yourself and-"

"Stop acting like we're close, like you know me. I appreciate all of this, I really do. Thank you for spending time to look after me even if you get nothing in return, i'm thankful, really."

I'd let her stay and finish the dishes, but I know better.

"But there comes a point where once a line is crossed, second chances are no longer an option. Stop focusing on me, take care of yourself."

I calmly place the lids back on and organize the containers back into the fitted bag. I lightly push them to her side of the table. My eyes are averted to my lap. I don't need to look up to know that she's crying. The good guy in me hates to see her break, but it doesn't change the fact that she's done horrible things. Horrible things to my friends, to Aera, and to numerous of innocent schoolmates.

"You should go." I say lowly.

"Jungkook-"

"Please just go."

I sit up from the table and leave to the elevator.

"See yourself out." I mumble these last words.

I hope that I won't have to see her again.

She eventually leaves, I find, when later come back down for water. The food she'd brought me sits alone on my dinner table. Standing with my feet stuck to the ground, I will admit, the thought of throwing it away did cross my mind.

But nevertheless it's still food, no matter how much the meaning behind it racks me, it might mean something better for someone else.

I take the containers of food and store them into the refrigerator, stuffing them in along with all the other food our cooks cooked up for me. I'm sure some of them have already gone bad. I'm seeing containers from days ago. I shudder at the thought.

I shut the refrigerator door close and head back out to the living room when the bell rings again.

Assuming it was simply my mother, who'd maybe finally come home, I rush to the intercom.

I'm exhaling in annoyance when six loud voices boom through the speakers.

Gee, I wonder who's here.