Confusing Carnations (Klance)

Ch 7: Another Way

I laid in my bed looking at the ceiling. This situation was so surreal. Despite everything that has happened, I found myself feeling absolutely indifferent. The situation seemed to be spiraling so out of my own control so fast. The only thing I knew is that there was no way in hell that I was going to let myself forget Lance by getting the treatment. My mind wondered back to what had happened after Lance had ceased his chase. 

After the Lance had left the door begrudgingly, I came out of the bathroom, ready to bid Pidge a thanks and make my leave. However, Pidge stopped me. 

"Keith, your Hanahaki is progressing pretty fast. We should probably talk about getting you treatment." Pidge adjusted her glasses a bit and sighed, while gauging my distressed expression, "Listen, I know it's Lance-"

I suddenly felt alarmed at his name, "If I get the treatment it will jeopardize Voltron." Feeling suddenly a bit angry, I growled out, "This isn't just about me! I will ruin the chances of us forming Voltron if I-" forget Lance. I couldn't bring myself to say the last part so I just crossed my arms together and bit my cheek, averting my gaze. 

Pidge put it together and said as calmly as she could muster, "If you die it will jeopardize Voltron more, Keith." 

The idea of forgetting Lance made him feel sick. He was terribly mixed on the idea. For one, it would ruin the chances of forming Voltron and on top of that, Lance would find out about his condition. On the other hand, forgetting Lance, even if he was hopeless in his endeavors, felt even worse. I'd rather die than forget him. Even upon Pidge bringing up the treatment, as soon as I realized my feelings towards Lance, I never even considered the possibility. 

Feeling resolute, I spoke firmly, "I'm not getting the treatment, Pidge." I'd rather die than that happen, which was sort of fortunate because that future was looking very likely. 

"We need to inform someone who can help you-"

"No!" I yelled rather harshly, recoiling from the loudness of my voice. Pidge looked startled. Calming down I spoke, "I'm sorry. We're not telling anyone though. I just need more time to figure out what I'm going to do."

"At this point, the only options are to pursue Lance romantically and hope he feels the same or die, Keith. Is it really worth that much to you?" Pidge looked at Keith and widened her eyes as she saw him looking intently at the floor, looking stressed but resolute. "Keith," she started softly, before being interrupted once again.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm not getting the treatment," I stood a bit taller before looking Pidge in the eyes, "I'm going to do everything in my power to make it all work out." 

I sighed and put my arm over my face, rolling a bit in my bed. What did I mean by that? Deep down, I felt that I knew the answer, but I just had no idea how to go about it. Turning over again, I sighed, "I want him to love me."

As I said it, I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, I don't know how to make him love me. The hopelessness of the situation was sinking in and my throat started to itch as I felt my eyes getting teary. I'm going to die because he doesn't love me. Against my will, I began to sob. I tightened my jaw as I sat up and threw my face in my hands. It seemed as if every tear that felt made me feel more and more hopeless about my predicament. 

Through the tears, I felt the flowers suffocating me and I could no longer hold them back. I coughed up several roses and threw myself back on my back heaving. Clenching my fists, I silently reprimanded myself for acting so weak. 

When my eyes fell shut, I was instantly swept into rest. 

I sat on the porch looking at the stars. The night was so eerie. Hearing the door click open, I looked back to see Lance smiling at me. He shut the door softly and sat down close to me. 

"Can you not sleep?" He said softly, looking at the the scenery. 

Suddenly, the sky seemed mediocre as I looked at the side of Lance's smiling face. I felt my heart in my throat, afraid that if I spoke that I'd say something stupid. 

Looking back at me, he smiled a bit more and put his arm on my shoulders, "You don't have to act shy," he laughed a bit, eyes unstraying from my own. 

I swallowed and turned my head slightly, feeling my face growing hot. "Lance, listen-" 

He cut me off as he brought his other hand to cup my face and turn it towards him. His face crept closer to mine as I shut my eyes tightly. 

"Keith, I love you."

WEE-WOO-WEE-WOO

I threw myself awake as I heard the alarm. My arm immediately found itself grasping at my pounding heart, trying to steady it. Of course it was a dream, I sighed to myself. I shook it off as I realized that it was not the moment to ponder it. 

Quickly getting ready, I stepped over the flowers I failed to clean up last night. 

Goddamn it, I need to get a container. 

I had a lot of fun writing that dream sequence, lol. I was listening to the Be More Chill soundtrack while writing this, ha ha. Things in this story are going to start picking up. I just can't stand when stories go too fast but I also don't want to go too slow as to bore anyone who comes across the story. :( Please let me know if I am doing well pacing this! I appreciate everyone's feedback! Also, I don't know if it was confusing but Keith was simply recalling the conversation; he had been in his bed the entire time. I really like frame narratives so I tried to do that.