Confusing Carnations (Klance)

Ch 12: Pidge Talks to Lance

Wiping the grin on her face, Pidge walked over to Lance, making a mental note to check on Keith after. 

"Hey, Lance, you okay?" Pidge sat down by Lance who immediately threw his head up in surprise. 

He sighed because he knew he wanted to talk about what had just happened, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to Pidge about it. All he wanted to do in the moment was confront Keith and make sure everything was okay, but he also didn't think he could handle Keith's stupid face at the moment. 

Pidge saw him lost in thought and she nudged him, "What is going on?"

Lance bit his cheek before mumbling, "I don't know."

"Well, did something happen then?"

Remembering it, Lance blushed and stammered, "N-no."

Pidge raised her eyebrows, "Come on. I know that isn't true."

Lance finally gave in and began to ramble, moving his hands around in frustration as he spoke, "I don't know! I did something stupid and now Keith probably hates me! And I'm mad that I even care- I don't care!" Lance seemed exasperated but he continued to ramble, letting out things he hadn't wanted to, "I'm just so confused! It's like for the first time I'm realizing that he's human?!" 

"What do you mean?" Pidge inquired. 

He began to wave his hands faster, "I don't know! He's always been better than me at everything! He beats me at everything without even trying! Everyone thinks so highly of him," tears began to prick his eyes as he began to talk softer, bringing his frantic hands to a stillness in his lap, "I don't know. I just- until now, I've psyched myself into thinking he's like, an unattainable level of greatness that I could never hope to be, but..." he trailed off, staring in his lap. 

Pidge's eyes widened at what Lance had said, but pressed further, "But what?"

Lance bit his lip and tried to wipe his eyes subtly, going noticed by Pidge but she didn't bring it up, "I just- I saw him look unsure of himself and he looked- he looked scared. I didn't know he could look that way or feel that way," he tried to force a laugh as he sniffled a bit, "I know that sounds stupid but it honestly never occurred to me that someone who has everything I want could be...insecure?"

"Everyone feels unsure and insecure sometimes, Lance. Keith isn't an exception. You just never gave yourself the chance to get to know him," Pidge spoke firmly, but in a soft tone. 

"And now I regret it!" Lance widened his eyes. The words spilled out of his mouth before he could realize it and it finally occurred to him that he did regret it. Keith's revealed vulnerability made Lance want to be close to him and it made him feel guilty that he hadn't given Keith a chance. In his mind, Keith was just a pinnacle of his own envy, a living embodiment of everything he couldn't live up to. 

Feeling the tears fall down his cheeks, he didn't even bother to wipe them. The realization that all this time he had been projecting his own insecurities onto Keith despite Keith making efforts made his heart hurt. "Pidge, am I an awful person?" He tried to force a laugh when he said it but failed as his chest heaved from the crying. 

Pidge instinctively hugged Lance tightly, "Lance, you're not a bad person. No one thinks that."

Lance hugged Pidge back and after he was cried out, they both let go. Lance laughed weakly as he wiped his face, "Sorry about that."

"You don't have to apologize," Pidge smiled softly. "As for Keith, I'm sure he doesn't hate you."

Lance weakly replied, "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive," she smiled and put her hand on his shoulder, "Anyways, you going to be okay? Hunk said dinner would be ready in an hour about," she peered at her watch, "45 minutes ago."

Trying to cheer up, he stood up and tried to psych himself up for Hunk's cooking, "Yeah, I'll be good! I'm just gonna go get cleaned up," he looked down at Pidge and beamed a smile, "Thanks for letting me vent."

Playfully, she replied, "What are friends for?" She stood up and brushed herself off as Lance waved and made his way back to his room. 

Once he was gone, she smiled a bit and knocked on Keith's door. Catharsis round 2. 

I had a lot of fun writing this! It's about time we get more into how Lance is doing with all this, ha ha. There's been no Lance centered chapters thus far so I needed to change that. :) I hope I did a good job! I don't know if this sounds ooc or forced!