Was I Ever Really Loved By You? (TRAMYHEARTSERIES #2) (ON-GOING)

Chapter 42 💖 Zereff 💖 Questioned

"Was I ever really loved by you Z?" She asked in a shattered painful voice.

Her eyes were devoid of the usual emotions I used to see whenever we were together, it was all gone.

And only hatred, never-ending questions, and chaos of chords all remained.

Out of all the questions she asked me, this one is the easiest to answer, yet, I find myself incapable of doing so.

Because suddenly, I felt degraded, crashed, and debouched, by the fact that she'd asked that.

Because I know, I truly know,
that if there was one thing in my life I'm sure of myself and never regretted, it was the fact that I LOVED HER... and I'm quite confident that I will continue to love her, for the time our eyes and hair turn gray, or forever meet its ends, and 'till eternity becomes infinity.

Yet, I didn't state it.

Nor I couldn't say it.

For I know her heart and mind would never accept whatever words I'd say.

"S-See? You couldn't even say a word... N-Now I know, you never lo-" pinutol ko ang salita nito ng paghawak sa balikat nito, naramdaman ko ang pagka-tense ng katawan nito, na noo'y kinatutuwaan kong naidudulot ko dito, ngunit ngayo'y pinangangambahan ko na ang dahilan kung ano.

Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko, kasabay ng pangangatog ng mga tuhod ko.

Pagal na ibinababa ko ang noo ko sa balikat nito, kumapit dito kasabay ng pagkapit ko sa konting pag-asa na sana'y mayroon pang kami.

Kahit kaunti lang, kahit katiting lang...sapagkat kung mayroon pa kahit papaano, ay patuloy akong lalaban sa labang sinusukoan na nito.

Sapagkat ganito ko ito kamahal...
Sukdulang magmakaawa at bitiwan ang lahat.

At dahil ganito ako umaasa...
Umaasang mas matimbang ang pag-iibigan namin kaysa anumang balakid o hadlang.

Kahit pa nasasaktan na ko ng husto sa kaalamang kaya nitong saktan ako sa pamamagitan ng paggamit ng iba.

Kahit pa nakakapanliit na, kahit pa nakakapanghina na.

"There was no day in my life that I didn't love you, Karina...
Doubt my sanity, condemn all my decisions, but please...
never questioned my love,
for I only live in this world to love you, only you..." Tila hinang hinang saad ko.

Tunay ngang mas nakakasaid ang masaktan ng emosyonal kaysa sa katawang pagal na pagal. Dahil damang dama ko ang kasairan at kahungkagan ng kalooban kong nasasaktan.

Naramdaman ko ang pag-angat ng mga kamay nito, at alam ko, alam na alam kong hahawakan na ko nito, ngunit tila may pumigil dito na kung ano para ituloy iyon, at sa halip, iwinaksi muli nito ang mga kamay kong nakahawak sa mga balikat nito na siyang nakapagpaangat sa ulo kong nakatungo dito, tila sinasabing walang binago ang mga salitang iminutawi ko.

"Eh b-bakit mo ko nagawang saktan kung ganoon?" Puno ng pag-uusig at pagdaramdam na tanong nito habang namamalisbis ang mayamang mga luha sa magagandang mga mata.

Napakagat pa ito sa sariling labi na animo'y doon sa ginawi ay maiibsan ang sakit na nadarama.

And I feel it...
Those teeny wicked pins pierced my heart multiple times as if someone decided to make my chest a pin cushion bed while witnessing her in so much pain.

I was right, she would never accept any words from me, because as Dim said, she was hurt, and pain makes people narrow-minded and impulsive as hell.

But I can't let those thoughts lead our ways, kailangang kausapin ko na ito ngayon, dahil hindi ko na alam kung kailan pa ba ako magkakaroon ng susunod pang pagkakataon.

"K-Kapag mayroon ka ng katanggap-tanggap na kasagutan sa tanong kong 'yan, baka sakali.., baka sakali Z, makinig ako sayo, sukdulang tawagin akong tanga at gago. P-Pero ngayon, tama na muna Z, kasi said na said pa ako. Ubos na ubos." She said in a blank expression, before turning her back on me.

"B-Baby please..." Pakiusap ko dito na hindi man lang ako nilingon.

I felt the sudden urge to stop her again, to talk to her even just milliseconds, but I couldn't, because I was so scared in her rage.

I heaved a long heavy sigh when she was gone from sight, she's just meters away, but why the hell did it feel like a thousand miles was in our way?

Tumunog ang telepono ko na nagpabalik sa nagsisimulang lumipad na diwa ko.

'Z-Zereff, si Lemni..." Umiiyak na tinig ni Margarette sa kabilang linya.

Kakaibang dagundong ng kaba ang bumalot sa pagkatao ko at agad akong umalis patungo sa lugar na sigurado akong kinaroroonan ng mga ito.

😞😞😞😞😞

A/N
Hi Cuties!
OMG!
What happened?

TramyHeart ❤❤❤