All in the Past

Break-Up

Chapter 5: Break-Up

Lauren

*One month later*

Jessica: What time is he coming over?

Me: He said at 5. 10 more minutes.

Jessica: Are you seriously doing a countdown?

Me: Yes. I can’t wait to see him. I’ve missed him for so long. I’m glad that’s he’s making his dream a reality but I need to see him. He’s a part of me.

*Ding dong*

Me: Oh my gosh, he’s early. Got to go, talk to you later

I flip my hair a little and look at myself in the mirror to make sure I look okay then go and open the door.

“Hey sweetheart” Niall said giving me a tight hug.

Before he can say anything else I lean in and kiss him. At first he kisses back but then he pulls away.

“What’s wrong?” I ask him.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” He said trying to smile.

“Okay, come in.” I usher him to the couch.

“While I was traveling for X-factor I…” he beginnings

“You what? Just come out and say it.” I said.

I had a feeling what he was going to say but I was really hoping that I was wrong.

“Someone kissed me and I kissed them back because I think I like her.” Niall said looking into my eyes.

I can feel the tears coming into my eyes. One tear drop falls and Niall comes over to me to wipe it off my cheek but I back away from him.

“Don’t touch me.” I shout, “I should have known that everything you said to me would be lies. I can’t believe that I thought that I could trust you enough not to fall for anyone else why you were away. I guess you can’t control yourself.”

“Lauren, I’m sorry.” he said with tears forming in his eyes, “The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. If I could control the way I feel…”

“Stop it” I shout, “If I could control the way I feel I would have declined when you asked me to be your girlfriend. I thought you loved me but I was wrong.”

I could see the hurt in his eyes.

“I do love you Lauren I just don’t think it’s fair to you that I like someone else while were together.” Niall shouted back.

“You’re right, it’s not fair so consider yourself a free man. Do what you want, kiss who you want, just don’t expect me to be around when you do” I said walking over to the door and opening it wide, “It was really nice seeing you but you can go now and lose my number while you’re at it.”

“Lauren please…” Niall begins looking into my eyes.

“NOW!” I said without looking at him.

I refuse to let my love for him blind me to what he’s feeling. He likes someone else which means his love for me isn’t as strong as I thought it was.

He glances at me one more time before leaving. I close the door behind him and let myself slide down the door because I can no longer hold the pain in. I begin to cry uncontrollably and hit the floor with my fist. All I can think is why would he do this to me? I thought that he loved me I thought that he wanted this to work. Why did he get my hopes up just to watch me fall?

Niall

My plane just landed and the first place that I’m headed is to see Lauren. I have to tell her about what happened last month. Lauren needs to know that I like Jade and I can’t stop thinking about her. As I edge closer and closer to Lauren’s house I can feel butterflies in my stomach. I love Lauren but I think it’s time that we moved on with our lives.

Besides if I win X-factor this will only be the beginning of our separation. Eventually we’re not going to see each other at all. This is what’s for the best.

As I approach her door I take a deep breath and ring her doorbell. Within seconds the door flies open.

“Hey sweetheart” I said giving her a tight hug.

Before I can say anything else she leans in and kisses me. I let her kiss me because I love her and I want to kiss her but I know that I shouldn’t so I pull away. I can’t hurt her any more than I already have.

“What’s wrong?” she asks me.

“There’s something I need to tell you.” I said trying to smile but failing miserably.  

“Okay, come in.” she ushers me to the couch.

 I remember sitting here the day I left telling her that we had a future. I told her not to worry when the truth is she should have been worried. She deserves better.

“While I was traveling for X-factor I…” I begin.

“You what? Just come out and say it.” she said as if she already knew what I was going to say. I could hear the anger building in her voice.

 “Someone kissed me and I kissed them back because I think I like her.” I said looking into her eyes.

I could see that she was about to cry. Once a tear drop fell from her face I edged closer to her to wipe her face but she moved away from me.

“Don’t touch me.” she shouted, “I should have known that everything you said to me would be lies. I can’t believe that I thought that I could trust you enough not to fall for anyone else why you were away. I guess you can’t control yourself.”

“Lauren, I’m sorry.” I said with tears forming in my eyes, “The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. If I could control the way I feel…”

She didn’t even let me finish before she cut me off.

“Stop it” she shouted, “If I could control the way I feel I would have declined when you asked me to be your girlfriend. I thought you loved me but I was wrong.”

Hearing her say those words set a fire to my heart. One part of me felt terrible for hurting her but the other part thought if she feels that way then this break-up is a good thing. If she doesn’t want to be my girlfriend then I don’t need her.

“I do love you Lauren I just don’t think it’s fair to you that I like someone else while we’re together.” I shouted back.

“You’re right, it’s not fair so consider yourself a free man. Do what you want, kiss who you want, just don’t expect me to be around when you do” she said walking over to the door and opening it wide, “It was really nice seeing you but you can go now and lose my number while you’re at it.”

“Lauren please…” I beg looking into her eyes.

I want her to understand why I did what I did.

“NOW!” she said without looking at me.

I decided that Lauren wasn’t going to hear me out. She was too stubborn so I gave up and walked out the door. She closed it behind me and I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. She said I was a free man so I can finally act like one. Having a girlfriend for a year was nice while it lasted but it’s time to move on.

As I am about to walk away I hear her crying. I wish I could comfort her because even though we’re not together anymore I don’t want to see her cry but she doesn’t want me in her life. I let out a sigh and walk to the elevator. This will probably be my last time riding this elevator to see Lauren and I think that I’m okay with it.