Constellations - |reylo|

chapter 19

The tears they both shed, the pain they inflicted on each other,
Rey layed her head against the wall while kylo sat at the end of the bed

Awkward glances are exchanged ensuring that the other is okay, thoughts of fear and pain ramble through their minds

"What now" Rey asks, her eyes still closed as if talking to the wind

That question had haunted her since their last fight, what was to happen between them, both of their demons would never get better they had hit a wall, realizing they can't fix each other, they can hardly fix themselves

"What are we?" she questioned again

he looked over to her, looking at her features, her brown hair a mess, the bags under her eyes and the pain he saw pain directed to him

She was in pain, she wanted him but he couldn't have her, they would never be together they thought, it was frowned upon being with the enemy

"We are nothing, you don't belong to me and I to you" he spoke nonchalantly

She nodded disappointed at his answer but not even sure of the answer she truly wanted

"We can be something" she whispered

He shook his head looking away from her
"No I am not worth the pain" he argued

"Neither am I but here we are, I don't want something just to help you, I want to be there for you"

" I will never leave you " she whispered

He stood from the bed running a hand through his hair with a sigh "I can't promise I won't leave though"

He walked to the door grabbing her saber on the way and with a loud slam she was left to her own devices,
She knew this would happen , she shouldn't have pushed it, she shouldn't have left to naboo she wish she had never met him, because him leaving was the last she could take, she told herself this would happen, the general would leave her, he would leave her. Its just a matter of time before she is left completely alone.

Rey's p.o.v.

I stared at the door the silence blaring in my ears, what have I done?

Panic rises through me, all my worries my wounds resurfacing, my parents leaving, Ben leaving. All the things torn from me and did I really deserve any of it?

I swung my legs over the bed as I stood a sharp pain rang through my core, I doubled over my arms encasing my stomach a single tear dripping from my eye, I fell to the floor pain scorching all over my body, memories of red rang through my mind, the pain, loss,

voices scream in my ears, the red blurring my vision, i cry for help but am met with a deafening silence

he traces my shoulders and brushes his pale fingers across my collar bone leaving faint kisses on my neck and ears, I try to shake him off and scream at him through the cloth receiving nothing but a dark chuckle

~

his sultry voice, purring in my mind, i claw at my ears trying to stop the sounds the pain, stop stop!

" you dont mind this do you rey." he whispers

~

His voice echoes, the pain in my core worsens I feel each thrust once more, each wet kiss, I whimper at his commands his questions, his commands.

He kisses the tears off my cheeks " no need to cry scavenger I will take care of you, unlike your pitiful boyfriend."

The words ring and the noises the screaming it doesn't stop, I reach out to the force to save me but it shrinks back in, secluding me more and more.

where is everyone? wheres ben? why can't I escape this pain?

I can't breathe and my body stills, acting as if none of this has even happened and one thing rings through my ears before the pain hits me once more worse than before

"I promise to all the stars, all the constellations in the sky, I will go with you to go home and I will never leave you, we can fix each other, and I promise you I will do it." bens voice whispers, telling me sweet lies that will never come true.

I let out a scream and bit my lip, no I can't do this, bloody hell this hurts what is the matter with me?

Pains like a thousand knives stabbing me embracing me, once again, the red comes back to my vision, I can't breathe
He won't leave the red taunts me, telling me I'm weak telling me I'm worthless

Then black crosses my mind, dots scatter my vision, telling me I'm nothing that I'm not worth the pain
Screams locked in my ears, pain, black, red, screams

Pain, black, red, screams, abuse, abandonment
Feelings from others I didn't know existed

I take in a sharp breath and look up, coldness fills the room then I feel a tug at my heart a tug in the force, a pain i felt when training with skywalker, death.

Heart break, floods through leaving me empty.

I gasp unable to think straight, I wish for peace, I wish I was never born

" thats not a very good wish scavenger." bens voice echoes just like last time, just before he left me the first time

I am empty, numb, I stand to my feet the pain in my stomach subsiding
I reach for door knob electricity shocking my hand.

I close the door gingerly and go in auto pilot, I walk corridor after corridor my eyes drooping from exhaustion, I don't feel like myself, I've never felt this distraught in all my life, feelings I can't describe encase me as I look for ben, deciding he doesn't have a choice, he will not leave me he will not leave himself behind because of a bit of cowardice.

I walk past leia's office, past the empty halls, the dorms of resistance fighters, I walk towards the training room and as I go to continue my search, the humming of a lightsaber reveals a blue light being weld by the raven haired man, I slowly open the door to the training room and see ben, my saber in his hand swinging viciously at the air.

He stops his body stiffens and he turns off my saber, he turns around looking at me like prey, his once brown eyes a disgusting shade of yellow, anger swims around him as he looks me up and down

I walk up to him keeping my eyes trained to the ground, I lifted my head up looking at him his eyes turning back to their natural color

"You hurt me Ben, you thought you were helping by leaving but all you did was create more chaos" I announced

He shook his slightly" Ben is dead scavenger"

I chuckle we've been through this many times, I reach my hand up resting it on his cheek " no he's not, I've seen him"

"i killed him along with han solo"

A sad smile covers my face "you didnt kill him"

I put my hand on his causing the saber to clatter to the floor, his eyes softened and I now had proof ben solo was still alive

" we have been through so much, we both deserve happiness"

he looks in my eyes grasping onto every word like a child

" and I don't care what you will say, but I know the stars put us together on purpose, the force bond we have is not because of snoke ben, it's because we are meant to be we will bring peace back to the galaxy, together." I pronounced, all pain and fear lifting off my shoulders

I reach up raking my hand through his hair I place my lips softly on his putting my other hand in his hair pulling him to me, he tangles his hands around my waist moving his lips with my own pulling me to him to be as close as possible

I rest my forehead on his "he is the man I feel in love with"

"The man standing right in front of me"

A.n.
Heyyo y'all this is probably the last official chapter, unless I decide to add more which knowing me I will, plus I will add an epilogue to end it all dudes

I hope you enjoyed this please tell me what you think and don't forget to vote
~<3b