2 // DRESS // JEDDY

// nineteen //

jamie put the spoonful of sugar into al's tea, and began to stir. he could do this. it was just al. albus. only his brother. only his brother who was going to talk to him about jamie's sexuality. certainly nothing to be scared or anxious about.

jamie was screwed. he couldn't do this.

a few wavering breaths and another cup of tea later, jamie worked up the courage to actually leave the kitchen. this could either two ways: really shit or even shitter.

al was sat on the sofa, seeming as if he needed this talk as much as jamie did. jamie plonked himself down next to his brother, handing him his drink. they sat in silence for a moment, then al took a sip. "you still can't make tea for shit jamie. switch cups, you gave me yours."

jamie handed over his cup (technically al's cup) to al, and took his own back. "piss off, i'll have you know teddy enjoys the tea i make."

teddy really didn't, he hated it. in reality, no one liked it. the only person who was kind enough to never say anything was teddy. after years of pretending to like it, he couldn't turn around now and say he hated it. jamie could cry, he takes his tea very seriously.

"does this," al gesticulated widely, most like referring to jamie's Sexuality Panic™, "have anything to do with teddy?"

jamie almost spat out his drink. wiping his mouth on the corner of his jumper, he attempted to calm himself before he spoke again. nothing seemed to work though; his heart rate was higher than he'd felt it before, an indefinite thud landing heavy in his chest. each beat seeming to call out teddy. of course it had to do with him, everything within jamie had to do with teddy. the way ted's eyes went all crinkled when he smiled drove jamie's heart to a none stop fluttering. jamie wouldn't feel like this is he was straight. there was no chance he was straight.

amongst nervous laughter and darting eyes, jamie recollected himself. "okay, you're jumping right into this. don't you want to talk about, you know, scorpius?"

jamie felt like an idiot for even mentioning his name, as al slightly flinched. not enough for anyone else to see, only really the people he let close noted these kind of mannerism and quirks, jamie being one of those people.

he should've known to avoid the topic that was scorpius malfoy. al needed a distraction, he'd already thought about him too much. the disaster that had been this past week was already too much for jamie to think about, the stress was getting to him and he couldn't help but think things would be easier if he could just have one drink, one smoke. no, no. he'd been working in this, especially with teddy. but if jamie was feeling like this, he couldn't imagine what al was going through.

"you're avoiding the question, jamie. so it clearly has something to do with him. spill." al stayed firm in his accusation.

jamie struggled with what to say, how to phrase things. he couldn't just come out with it. though al did like the bluntness of things rather than hovering over the topic. when jamie was the opposite, not wanting to say things straight away to avoid offending anyone, wanting to explain things beforehand rather than just saying everything, all at once.

but this was something heavier than just bluntness, this had stemmed from something much deeper. full of cheating and regrets, betrayal and offence. getting high without a second thought and not remembering the day before. fighting until their throats couldn't take the screaming and shouting and crying anymore. it was fists flying before they knew what they were doing, storming out afterwards, leaving his opposition to ignite an addiction, belonging to the past, that was never meant to happen again.