May 14, 2006 (Monday)
"Good morning!" Teacher yells at us. Everyone says it back, but I don't wanna, so I don't and hope she doesn't notice. My head kinda hurts and I want to go home already, just like every day. Except, this day is really bad because the teacher changed all of our seats into groups. So now, I have to sit with people. Like...four of them. That's a lot. And it's field day. I hate field day. I just sit there alone on the grass. AND IT'S HOT.
I don't have any friends in class. People talk to each other and stuff, but I don't. It's fine I guess.
"Do we know what day it is today?" Teacher says. Everyone stays quiet, but the mean girl in class raises her hand. She sits in my group. I don't like her. "Moms day." Moms day?? That sounds stupid.
"Very good! Today is Mother's day! So, today we're gonna celebrate everybody's mommies." She walks around to people and gives everyone pink heart papers. "I want you to write a letter to your mommy saying how much you love her, what you like about her, anything!" She puts some hearts on our table and everyone gets one. I go to grab one, but she grabs it at the same time. I get frozen and my heart beats really fast.
"Sorry." She says. She lets go of the heart. I don't say anything and look at her. She just grabs another one.
"You have until 10:30 to complete your hearts, okay?" Teacher says and sits on her desk.
Everyone starts grabbing colors and markers to draw on their hearts. I just sit all quiet. What am I supposed to do?
I don't have a mommy.
I feel bad and I wanna go home.
The boy sitting next to me looks at me. "Why aren't you doing anything?" I look at him angry. "Cause I don't wanna." I lied. Lying is easy. I do it a lot.
"OOO! I'm telling teacher!!!" My heart beats hard again. I'm scared. I don't wanna get in trouble. As soon as he screams, the mean girl looks up fast. She looks a little scared too.
Why isn't she writing on the paper?
"Teacher!!! She isn't doing her work!!!" He yells and raises his hand really high.
I get butterflies everywhere. Now I'm really scared. "What the heck are you-...!" OH, MY GOSH. I JUST SAID HECK IN FRONT OF THE TEACHER. Everyone in the class goes "OOO!!" Loud. I'm freaking out. Some people start whispering, other people start yelling "¡MAMACITA PAPALOTE! ¡¡LLAMA LA POLICÍA!!" Teacher looks at everyone with an angry face and shushes everyone really loud. Everybody gets really quiet and the teacher gets up.
I don't turn around. I don't wanna see her.
I hear her shoes coming close to me.
The girl in front of me looks scares too. She looks down at her desk and doesn't move. She stands next to me and looks at me a little, and then grabs my heart. She flips it around and looks at it all over, and then puts it on my desk again. I didn't even write my name. She puts her hand on me. "Sweetie...Why is your heart empty?" I don't really know what to say, so I just say what I think. I look up at her eyes.
"My mommy took it when she left."
She takes her hand off of me slow and her eyes get big. She looks surprised. The girl in front of me looks up when I say that.
"W-Well...I-I..." Teacher tries to say something, but the girl says "I don't have one either."
I look at her. Really?
It's so quiet it feels like we're taking a test.
Teacher walks back to her desk and gets on her computer. A lot of people start whispering...and then talking low...and then talking, and then shouting like normal. Everything goes back to normal, except that some people are still talking about what happened.
I still can't write anything.
The boy next to me looks at me again. "You're so weird." Out of nowhere, the girl looks at him and says "Leave her alone." She looks angry. He stays quiet. He starts doing his work again. She looks at me and says "My name's Hermia." She smiles at me. I still don't really like her...but I'm still nice because I'm scared of popular people. "I'm Helena," I say quietly. "You're pretty." She says. My eyes get big, but I hide it to not look weird. "...You too..." I say while looking at my hands. "What happened to your mom?" She asks a lot of questions.
"Um...I've never met her." I try not to talk too loud so other people won't hear me. "She's still alive?" Hermia says. "Mhm."
"Mine's not." She says. I stay quiet.
"Alright, guys. We're gonna go have field day now. Everyone line up." Everyone gets up from the groups and stands at the door. I get up last. I don't. Want. To go.
"Field day felt like it took a whole year. I don't remember any of it, though, because of how miserable I was."
It's finally over. I'm really hot and sweaty now. I want winter to come already.
Now we're all waiting for our family to pick us up. Hermia is standing next to me. We're being quiet. I see my dad's car in the parking lot. Another car parks next to it. My dad honks at me when he sees me. A man comes out of the other car and starts walking towards us. He looks kinda scary. He walks up to Hermia and holds her hand. "Let's go, sweetie." He says quickly. He looks at me weird. "Can you wait one second please?" She asks. He looks at her, at me, and then at her again. "Okay. But hurry." He walks back to his car. "I liked talking to you today. I don't really have any friends." I just look at her. Out of nowhere, I quickly hug her. "Thank you," I whisper. The man honks at us really loud from his car. We let go. He comes back and grabs her hand. "Let's go." He starts to pull her away. As she walks away, she keeps looking at me.
"It was nice to meet you." She yells with a smile.
I just look at her.
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