5AM// Stanlon

0.2

DON'T WAKE ME•

Stan woke up the next morning, completely restless. It was four thirty-five, as it read on the bedside table. The man let out a sigh and brought his fingers up to his eyes, gently rubbing at them. He didn't expect himself to sleep this long.

He turned over onto his other side and saw the most beautiful sight he could ever lay eyes on. Mike Hanlon, asleep next to him. Stan had always been a silent observer and Mike had always been out there, spoke his mind, did things his way. Mike was smart, Mike was tough...Mike was perfect.

Stanley's eyes took in all the features of the other male's face, almost bursting into tears right then and there. Reaching out a delicate hand, he touched the side of Mike's face somberly, enjoying how well their skin tones differed. He brushed a thumb over Mike's top lip and felt his heart aching. When was the last time they shared a kiss? A peck even?

"You're beautiful, Mike Hanlon...," he whispered just like he had the first time they kissed.

-
"Come on, I want to show you something.." Mike was grinning so wide, Stan was surprised his face hadn't fallen off onto the concrete.

Stan gripped his hand tighter and trotted along behind him doing his best not to scuff up his loafers.

"Mike..what is it? You know how Bill gets when we miss game night," Stan huffed playfully as Mike continued to pull him along.

Two teenagers running towards the back of the Hanlon farm while the other losers were setting up game night in one of the barn lofts.

"You'll love it."

"This better be worth it." Stan tried to sound annoyed but they both knew he wasn't. Mike could offer to push Stan from a cliff an the blonde would nod, smile, and comply.

When they finally reached the end of the farm, Stan saw it. The largest field of sunflowers he had ever seen. They were tall against the Horizon and the most vibrant of yellows. Canary yellow, Stan had thought that night.

"Why did you bring me here...," Stan hummed.

"Because it's my favorite place to come," Mike started, "if I'm sad...angry. I come here when I want to write or if I want to read in peace. I come here, to this field of flowers and just..be." He began to gaze off into the distance.

"You know, it's the best place to just breathe and sometimes it's hard to find time to do that.." Mike looked at Stan again, this time with so much love, Stan could feel it pierce his heart directly.

I want to breathe too...he had thought.

"But when I'm with you...I realize, I'm breathing just fine. You're my sunflower Stanley, you keep me going and I love you..," Mike wasn't smiling his goofy smile. He was serious and on the verge of tears.

Stan smiled faintly and in the dark of the night Mike hadn't seen the flash of sadness.

No, Mike..be in love with someone who deserves you. I love you..but I will never be able to love you the way you love me, not until I can love myself.

"I love you too. I love you so much," Stan hid his face in Mike's chest for a moment to will away the tears, he had meant it but he regretted it.

Stanley Uris was falling in love.

Mike looked down at the seventeen year old in his arms and leaned forward and with some strange energy, Stan leaned forward too. They shared a kiss that stung like teenage daydreams and tasted of mint gum and cherry cola.

Stan pulled away first and saw then that he needed Mike.

I want to breathe...too.

"You're beautiful, Mike Hanlon."
"You're indescribable, Stan Uris." Mike smiled his lopsided smile.
-
"Stan..?"

"I'm fine. I better get ready for work," Stan was already getting up from the bed, wishing he could just go back to sleep and never wake up until things felt right with him. Sleep until the nightmares of IT went away.

"Stan...you can talk to me..," Mike was getting up from the bed, "I'm here if you need me. I love you..." he said weakly and his eyes were searching for something.

Stan opened his mouth to say something but closed it.

I'm hurting Mike...there's nothing you can do. What we saw...I can't unsee it.

"I'm going to be late..," he turned to start walking to the bathroom.

"Stan.. I said I love you...," this time his voice was weaker.

"Well maybe you should stop..." he said this without even turning to look at Mike, he wouldn't be able to take it.

Stan walked into the bathroom, leaving Mike standing by the bed on his own.

You're my sunflower Stanley

I love you

"I can't stop.."

•••

The hours ticked by in the library as Mike sorted a few books. Their dusty spines and worn pages emitting the most intoxicating smell. He was twisting the wedding ring on his finger nervously, just a silver band. How did Stan expect him to stop loving him? Mike had never loved so intensely in his life, it physically hurt. Was he the reason their marriage was falling apart? Slipping off a cliff's edge, ready to plummet to its death.

If this was the end, he hoped it wasn't his fault. Mike bit down on the inside on his cheek, he had to talk to someone. He honestly just wanted a shoulder to cry on, but what does one say?

My marriage is crumbling and I'm not sure if it's my doings?

No, Mike wouldn't bother anyone with his problems, that's just how he was. He only asked for help when he truly needed it...but maybe..just maybe. This was one of those times.
-
Over at Stan's job he was pacing in front of his desk. His crisp dress pant legs brushing against each other, his shined shoes making tapping noises on the floorboards. He felt so stupid and guilty.

I'm the one with issues- why would I take it out on him? Mike. He's done nothing but good, Mike Hanlon is good.

Probably the best damn member in this club.

"YoWza, Stany- I have to tell ya straight...you look like shit."

Richie.