Harlem Lovin

34

Yasmine
I've been out of the hospital for five days now and I've spent every single day in my room crying. I pushed everybody away and haven't turned my phone on since I left the hospital. I curled up under my sheets with Ace at the end of my bed at my feet. The room was dead silent and all I could hear was my sniffles and the ringing from the silence. I slowly moved to my feet dragging my tired and hurting body to the bathroom. My bruises were healing but those spots were still very sensitive to the touch.

After using the bathroom I washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror as the tears rushed down my face. I hated who I seen...I felt sick, worthless, and disgusting. I knew there was something wrong with my body but I didn't know I was pregnant with my future child. I looked down at my stomach rubbing it wishing it were still there I will never be able to forget the way I felt and the words that left the doctors mouth when he told me I miscarried. Those words kept replaying in my head and I couldn't really grasp what he was telling me because of the shock.

I broke down and Rocky just held me as I cried. We cried together and this is nothing either of us would wish on anyone. I know I didn't get to bond with the baby and I didn't grow an attachment to it, but just knowing I had a little me growing in me and I lost it hurts so bad. I was very sad and speechless at first but now I'm just so angry. I don't know what I did to deserve this but I guess I got my karma good.

I wiped my tears hearing the doorbell ring throughout the house. I sluggishly made my way down the stairs and opened the blinds seeing Rocky was here. I pushed him away and haven't seen him since I left the hospital. He respected that I needed some time away but as of right now he's the only person I want to see. I opened the door seeing his perfect smile and a bouquet of roses.

I took the roses and walked to the kitchen throwing them in a vase without saying a word. I walked upstairs making my way to my room with Rocky not too far behind. I sat on my bed looking up at Rocky in front of me and the waterworks began all over again.

Ssshhh I'm here it's okay. Rocky said laying us down as he held me.

I promise I will give you as many babies as you want Yasmine and I know it's not helping right now but I hate seeing you cry. Maybe this is God's way of telling us it's not our time to be parents yet. I know this is a fucked up way but I'm here for you. He whispered into my ear while rubbing my head.

"It's just not fair.." I continued to sob.

I know baby I know.

He held me for a little while longer until I stopped crying.

Yas, did you eat today? He asked.

"No."

Babe you-

"I know I can't be doing that but I don't have an appetite." I rolled over laying on my side.

I'm about to cook you something. He got up walking out of the room.

I laid there just staring at the wall looking at the painting Rocky bought me a while ago. I got up walking downstairs seeing Rocky cooking eggs and some toast. I reached in the fridge and grabbed some orange juice to take my medicine for my arm.

Here eat this please Yas. He sat a plate in front of me kissing me on my forehead.

I picked up my fork picking at the eggs taking little bites. Rocky's phone started ringing and he got up grabbing it.

It's detective. He answered it putting it on speaker.

Hey detective. He sat back down.