Harlem Lovin

37

Yasmine - One week later
I sat in my so called room that I've been in for about a week. I admitted myself into a psych hospital about a week ago and I left without letting anyone know. The only person that I had to tell was Mya because she's my manager and that would get me in trouble with her and potentially hurt my brand. I was suicidal and wasn't telling anyone. I was cutting and taking xanax again and I wasn't trying to end up in the situation I was in a couple years ago. Today was my last day in here and my last therapy session with my new therapist. Mya was coming to pick me up around lunch time today.

Ms.Taylor it's time for your therapy session. The nurse said opening my door.

I got up and slipped on my crocs and straightened out my white tee. I looked at the nurse who smiled at me and I returned a smiled back.

How are you feeling today?

"I'm actually feeling better." I smiled as we got closer to the room.

That's good I'm glad to hear that.

"Thank you." I said as she scanned her card letting me in the room.

I walked in the now familiar room that smelled like citrus and took a seat in the comfy chair.

How are you feeling today Yasmine? She smiled.

"I'm feeling better." I smiled as she nodded.

I see you're getting discharge today, how does that make you feel?

"I don't know honestly...I feel like a lot of people will be upset with me especially my boyfriend and my best friend and her mom."

Why would they be upset with you?

"I left without a trace basically I just didn't tell anyone. My manager knows where I am and that's it." I said as she nodded.

How do you feel about the decision you made?

"At first I felt selfish...now I'm happy because I know they may have tried to talk me out of it...well not talk me out of getting help but being in here. I had a lot going on and I felt that was best for me. I was suicidal, depressed, cutting and abusing again. This had to be done. It was effecting my relationship with Rakim, I turned insecure and couldn't trust him and even though that's something we were working on I was having a hard time with myself." She nodded.

Okay so I went through your records and seen you were hospitalized recently and I want to talk about something that's a sensitive topic but, I want to bring it up because of you talking about your relationship with Rakim.

"The miscarriage right?" I asked and she nodded.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and opened them giving her the signal to continue.

How did you feel when you found out you miscarried?

"Confused, lost, angry, sad, numb. I mean the list can go on but yeah. I...We didn't even know I was pregnant I just thought I was sick. When I found out Rakim and my best friend knew before me. I went through all those emotions and I separated myself from Rakim. I should've seen someone then and there but I didn't." I sighed leaning into the chair more.