Harlem Lovin

28

Yasmine
"Dad? Hey dad where are you?" I walked all around the house looking for my dad. I knew he was home from work by now and I wanted to show him what I made.

I walked outside and seen him in the garage working on the lawn mower.

"Hey dad can I show you the drawing I made in school?"

Yasmine don't you see I'm fucking busy!?

"I...I just wanted you to see the drawing I made for you and mommy.." My smiled quickly turned to a frown.

He got up from the lawn mower and grabbed my arms tightly smearing oil all over them. I dropped my picture and tears ran down my face.

Look you little brat I told you I was busy didn't I?! DIDN'T I?!

I couldn't get any words out all I did was nod. He let go of me picking up my picture as I rubbed my red burning arms.

So this is the picture huh? He asked as I nodded.

Don't ever bring anything like this back to this house! He ripped up my picture.

You're going to learn sooner or later to listen to me. You will never be anything ever! Nobody will ever love you or care about you! You're nothing! Now go, get out of my face!
•••
I jumped up out of my sleep gripping my chest and trying to steady my breathing. I hadn't had one of those dreams in a long time and this is how I knew I was under stress. I checked the time on my phone and it read four in the morning. I looked over at Ace and seen him sound asleep. I got up walking into my bathroom looking at myself in the mirror. The bags under my eyes have gotten darker and I looked a mess.

I felt an anxiety attack starting up so I splashed some cold water on my face and focused on my breathing. I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer hoping this would pass. I opened the cabinet grabbing a xanax putting it on my tongue turning on the faucet and getting some water. I sat down on my white bath rug and leaned against my tub as tears came down my face.

I picked up the phone and called someone who I knew wasn't going to tell me what I wanted to hear nor judge me. I wiped my tears and sniffled as the phone rang.

Hello...?

"Hey I know it's late and...Could you come over I need someone to talk to..?"

Nah you cool um I'm on my way over right now. You good? I sat for a minute thinking about my response.

"No I'm not good.." I said bursting into tears.

Sit tight I'm on my way I'll be there in fifteen  minutes, and leave your door unlocked.

"Okay.." I wiped my tears and hung up walking to unlock the door and back to my bed.

I grabbed the glass of water on my nightstand and took small sips hoping it would calm me down. My heart was racing and I felt the need to throw up. Within these past few days a lot of shit hit me all at once and I knew this was coming, but I wasn't ready for it. I haven't talked to Ma in a while and I should probably give her a call because I miss her and probably need one of her talks right about now.

I laid down on my pillow and felt Ace climb up next to me and snuggle up under my arm. I rubbed his ears and concentrated on calming myself down. I started drifting back off to sleep and since I took that xanax my body couldn't fight the wave of drowsiness that's came over me.
•••

I sat up at the sound of my door closing and footsteps approaching my room. I heard a light knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in." I sat up.