Glitch | 김 석진

Epilogue

If my voice could reach back through the past,

I'd whisper in your ear,

"Oh, darling, I wish you were here."

July 21st, 2017

Jin slept on the couch the night before, and woke that morning with red eyes that were still puffy from his pathetic crying fit that had lulled him into a dreamless sleep. Light filtered into the living room through the window next to the door. The curtains were still. The room was still. The only sound was the sad tick of the grandfather clock that mocked him.

He missed the sound of spray paint, the blue lights of the gas station, the piano playing softly, the boombox, the small sedan parked in his car port. He missed them so much. It had been easy to push their existences into denial, but his run-in with Victoria made it so hard.

God, how he missed her.

It was all he could think about as he stood reluctantly, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. He dragged his feet to stand in front of the mirror. He hated himself. Looking at his reflection used to be somewhat of a hobby. But now, he was alone. He was alone and he did it to himself. He ruined their lives and therefore had to remove himself so they could achieve happiness.

Without thinking, his hand reached out to catch the falling vase. He wasn't even aware of it falling. He hadn't touched the thing in months. It must have been that piece of her. Victoria. His downfall.

But maybe now she was happy. And he would have to learn to be happy without her and their friends.

He set the vase upright before giving himself a last glance of detest. His fingers clutched the baseball cap on the side table. He set it tightly on his head, bangs obscuring is vision.

The wooden stairs creaked as he sulked up the steps that bled memories each time he touched them. Yoongi falling against them as he fought Jungkook, Jin rushing down them to greet Victoria at the door, Namjoon tripping up them, Jimin pretending to push Hoseok down them.

It all had to be forgotten. It was in the past.

It was already gone.

Though many seasons pass, there are places that cannot be reached. Yet another storm to pass and be weathered head-on. Loving without fear. Hesitating and parting. Merely living as the person I am.