Dear Dean
I love this sweater it's so comfy. It's 2 in the afternoon and I sent Sammy out shopping. Mainly because I just want to be alone.
I rolled up my sleeve to see the slight scab that was forming
I don't know why I did what I did last night. Anyways, remember that lake we went to after our first date? I had a dream about it. A scary dream. I was standing on the dock looking out into the water all by myself. Then I saw your bloody, mangled body float up. Your mouth was wide open and your eyes were rolled to the back of your head. You yelled at me. You yelled "STOP", but I don't know why you did. Why did you yell stop? If my dreams are a way for you to communicate then why are they so scary? Why are they so sad I thought you were happy up in heaven Dean. Anyways,Sam is home and he brought back lots of food. He is trying so hard to help me eat again. It's still only one meal a day But I will try. For you and for Sammy.
I heard Sam slide open the back door. I pushed the paper and pen away and pulled down my sleeve. He doesn't need to see that.
"Hey Cas. Want some lunch?"
I thought about it. I wasn't really hungry but I have to try.
"Sure. Surprise me"
Sam smiled and his face lit up. He nodded at me then slid the door back closed. I went back to writing.
Well, lets see how eating breakfast and lunch goes. I have to hide this cut from Sam. I think I'll just wear your sweater as long as I have to and longer if I choose.
Love, Cas
