stars » myg [editing]

one.

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CHAPTER ONE:
The Letter.

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December 29, 2016.

8th letter.

     Mom.

     It's good to write here, you know?

     I don't know. I don't know why I'm writing here. For you.

     When you aren't anymore around.

     But mom,

     I'm sick.

     You've probably witnessed about it up there, right now.

     Not fever sick. Or 'cold' sick. Or 'cough' sick.

     It's deadly.

     I can even imagine myself already, lying at my death bed.

     ...Not a funny joke.

     But if you come think of it, that's a great thing too, right?

     I'd get to see you in two months, or even less. I've been waiting the whole time for this moment to come. I miss you, so much.

     But . . . what about Yoongi? How will he know? How will I tell him? Should I leave him hanging just like that? Or should I hurt him by the truth?

     Should I end our relationship with a rough goodbye?

     He'll get hurt either ways, anyway.

     But I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to see him cry because of me. I would rather hurt myself than see his tears fall from his pale face.

     I'm not worth his tears.

     Should I push him away? Should I break up with him?

     Or should I let him break up with me?

     I love him, mom. I love him so bad, I can't even explain how much.

     But how, how can I tell him? How can I make him think I'm not the one for him so that he would leave me? So that if I finally leave, the loss of my existence would mean nothing for him?

     Help me, mom.

     I don't know, I have no idea how I would possibly do that.

     And I don't even know how I would handle that.

     Mom, help me.

     I didn't want to die. I didn't want to live, either.

     I want to be with you, but I want to be with Yoongi too.

     Should I push him away?

     Should I let him hate me?

     Should I... hurt him?

     Anyways, I do not have a choice, do I?

Sincerely yours,
Abbie.

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END OF CHAPTER.
edited: 190423

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+ a/n

so yeah. i've decided to edit the chapters after one year of publishing this. hope you'd like the chapter! though it isn't the best i've got lol.