Hey Spacejerk

Coughed On It

Hey Spacejerk,

You'd better not be raining acid on the city. It's been one day (okay, well, probably three or four by the time you get this. Though that's if mail delivery bothers to intuit "Big Glowy Green House on Rampant Ave" instead of laughing and sending it back to me. Seriously, you've been here seven years and you couldn't get a street number? Register as a citizen so you could properly infiltrate? What kind of alien invader is here for seven years and can't even figure that much out?)

As I was saying, it's been one (or four) days since I got here. Just because I'm three states away don't think I'm not watching your every move. I have spycams on my spycams and they are planted in every square inch of your base. Yeah. Betcha didn't know about those. I coughed on them too. Good luck getting them out without exploding from human germs.

You're probably asking yourself why I'm writing you a paper letter instead of emailing you. Well, first, having hacked into your system a couple of times I'm pretty sure you don't have an email. Second, I'm pretty sure a primitive paper communication will annoy you. Third, I bet you don't even know how to send one back. Which will annoy you even more.

Have fun figuring that out, Spacejerk. I'm watching you.

--Dib

P.S. I coughed on this letter, too.

..............................

Note: Honestly? I'm not totally sure where I'm going with this. I have some stuff I need to process in writing. The last time I set out to intentionally process something out through Fanfiction with only a scrap of an idea, I ended up with Ayam. Main fic is Laughter Lines right now, but this is a side fic to help me process some things.