Hey Spacejerk

Proceed With Caution

Dib spun his arms, trying to get right-side-up, but he had no luck. Did he really have to negotiate with Zim like this? "Can't we talk this over out there? Face to face? I'd really like to get out of your head already." He just knew he looked ridiculous.

The corner of Zim's mouth twitched ever so slightly, thoroughly confirming Dib's perception. "We've been in your nightmarish brainspace, Earth stink, and you were perfectly happy to let me rot there. I think it's fair we talk here. Besides, I'm unwilling to leave the stronger bargaining position just yet."

Dib winced. "Fair point about the nightmare world." It was just too weird talking with a semi-reasonable, coherent Zim. At the same time, it was kind of satisfying. With a sigh, Dib folded his legs and crossed his arms. If he couldn't be right-side up, he'd just sit upside down. "But you're still not thinking about this right. You seem to think you're stronger just because you've trapped me in connection with your PAK, but you've always held all the cards in this situation. Even if I got out of here and destroyed your body, what would happen to me? I'd rot in the jail, right? Is that how you're going to threaten me?"

Zim scowled, one claw tapping the side of the globe.

Dib shrugged. "If I wanted to eliminate you, I had my chance to do that without having your technology take over my brain. If I didn't take it then, ask yourself why I'd do it when you send me back out there."

Zim's antennae twitched. "Just because I can't think of a reason right now does not mean there isn't one."

"If I wanted to sacrifice myself to ensure Earth's safety from you forever, I could have saved myself this whole nightmare and jumped off the top floor of the prison! I doubt Zal could have stopped me once she unlocked my cell."

"Who is Zal?" Zim asked, puzzled.

"Your obnoxious computer AI," Dib grumbled. "Had to give it a name. Couldn't just call it by that model number."

Zim snorted, breaking into a laugh. "Humans and their strange obsessions with naming inanimate objects and programs. It must have hated your guts for that."

"Yeah, well." Thrown off his stride, Dib couldn't help a smile himself. "She might have had a few harsh words about it. Yeah. Hey, is she okay? I haven't heard from her since you started fighting back."

Lifting his antennae, Zim turned his face to the void above him. He was silent for a few seconds. "If my readouts are correct, the submersible's AI has completely burned out after taking blows from the PAK programming to shield you."

Dib felt a twinge of sadness, followed quickly by irritation. Zal had tried to get him killed and discredited most of his life, so he should be thrilled. But now she had a face and a name, and had carried out a mission to help him even though she hated him. And for just a moment he wished... He bit his lip, angry with himself. Zim was right. Anthropomorphosizing was a stupid human trait.

"There is no need for your foolish, misplaced sorrow." Zim's voice drew Dib back out of his thoughts. "That program's existence, during the time it aided you, was pure misery. Burning out was the greatest reward and relief it could have asked for."

Dib said nothing. Zim was right, of course. But it still didn't sit well with him.

"So, you were saying?" Zim prompted.

"Huh?"

"You were attempting to convince me why I shouldn't be concerned for the safety of my physical body once I release you."

Dib studied Zim. This whole calm, collected conversation was disconcerting. Zim had accurately read Dib's emotional state and offered consolation. Now Zim was reminding Dib where he left off? This would take a lot of getting used to. "Um. I... so, I could have offed myself anytime after Zal unlocked my cell, so... oh, right!" Dib cleared his throat, irritation returning as he remembered the grand point he'd been about to make. "Besides that, by coming in here, I put Earth's safety and my own brain on the line. And both are still on the line, aren't they? Because I know what you're thinking."