Hi Dad,
It's Dib. It's worth sending you a letter, I guess, to let you know I'm alive and not kidnapped. I mean, I was kidnapped, but my kidnapper and I came to have common ground, so you can call off the manhunts and bounties I see plastered all over the internet. I mean, you wouldn't want other things to leak, right? Like the illegal restraint of your adult son?
So yeah, I set fire to the house, and yeah, I sent myself a bomb. However, thanks to parties more invested in my well being than my own flesh and blood father, I found out the underlying medical cause you didn't even bother checking for. A broken nanoship from a competing technological source. Sabotage hidden in your son's head. I have evidence of it, too. Evidence I'd be happy to release if you tried the insanity angle to discredit or undermine me. Copies of said evidence (photos, blueprint of the ship fragment) are enclosed so you know this isn't a bluff.
I don't care how you spin it, but tell your contacts that I've been found and am safe. Don't come after me. My kidnapper-turned-patron has assured me safety at any cost, and I don't really care what he does to you if you pull any funny business. Basically, this is your one warning. Stay the hell out of my life.
Enclosed is a recent photo of me. Notice I'm not tied up or locked in a chair. Note the wide, wire-free smile. Choke on it.
-Dib
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Hey Spacejerk
FanfictionHey Spacejerk. Good job burning down my house. Were you hoping I'd have to move? Congratulations. But that's not going to stop me from spending my every living breathing second monitoring you. And sending you mail through a system you're too dumb to...
