Just us now - Reylo Fanfiction

Chapter 17

Rey's POV

It took me a while but I finally managed to fall back asleep after what I can only describe as the most real and exciting dream I've ever had. Even now as I get myself ready for today's training session I can't help but blush as I think back to everything that happened. I can remember every little detail and when I think of his lips against mine, his strong arms around my waist I feel tingles in place I didn't think was possible.

I stand at the door to the bedroom with my hand on the doorknob knowing I have to go out there and face him. As soon as I look at him I'm just going to turn bright red and he will be able to tell something is wrong. What will I say if he asks? Damn. I'm so not ready for this.

Just breathe Rey, I tell myself. It was your dream and yours only, he knows nothing about it so there is no need for you to be embarrassed. Lock it away with the rest of the things you don't want him to see and go out there with your head held high and act like nothing has happened. You can do this.

I open the door and walk out to find he is not there and his blanket is folded neatly on top of his pillow at the end of the sofa. "Kylo" I call out but there is no answer. I walk to the cockpit but that too is empty. I make my way back to the kitchen and there on the table is a handwritten note. Actual handwriting. I sit down at the table with the note in my hand and carefully run my fingers over the ink and admire the long forgotten art before me.

Rey,

I'll be gone most of the day.

I need to be by myself for a while to clear my head.

I hope you understand.

I'll be back though.

I promise.

Kylo

I sit there still holding onto the note in a way kind of glad that I don't have to face him just yet. Clear his head eh? Yeah, I definitely need to do that too. I decide to make myself a quick breakfast then I may as well take advantage of being alone and the quietness that surrounds me and use this time to meditate. Maybe even try to restore some order to my thoughts and emotions.

Kylo Ren's POV

I had to get out of there before she woke up. There was no way I would be able to look at her without turning into a bumbling idiot, going bright red and making a complete fool of myself. How would I explain that when she asked what was wrong?

I was able to get a little more sleep but when I woke up my body was still tingling from her touch. I've had many vivid dreams and nightmares before but this was something else. Jeezo I even managed to bite my own lip I think in disbelief as I put my finger up to the cut to convince myself it's really there.

I left her a note on the kitchen table though as I don't want her to worry. It's not often I get to write anything as it's not really common practice anymore, certainly not in the First Order that's for sure but I love the feel of the pen and paper in my hand. It's one of the only things from my past, from being Ben that I remember making me truly happy.

I've been walking for at least an hour so there is a good bit of distance between us now. Some time apart to clear my head and try and get my thoughts and emotions back to where they should be ought to do the trick. A nice quiet place far away for some mediation and I'll be right as rain again.

The suns are beating down pretty hard and I'll need to find cover, as I won't last in the heat. I head towards the rock face not too far away and there are a few openings leading into various caves. I check out a few of them and pick the one that seems to be the most secure and settle down. I take off my backpack that I've filled with some food and a few bottles of water.

I sit down with my legs crossed, close my eyes and try my best to clear my head of all thoughts. I feel everything slowly drain away until all that is left is an image of Rey.

Rey's POV

I head outside but the suns are already beating down hard. It's going to be a hot one today that's for sure. I go back inside to the common area and move the table to the other end of the room to create more space. In here will have to do.

I sit myself down in the middle of the room with my legs crossed, eyes closed and try my best to clear my head of all thoughts. I feel everything slowly drain away until all that is left is an image of Kylo.

It doesn't take long before a comfortable stillness and feeling of calm washes over me. I'm new to the whole art of meditation but from what I know it will help me to see or try to understand the bigger picture of whatever is happening in my life. Or at the very least be able to take me away from it for a while to get some perspective.

But still there is the image of Kylo. Try as I might he is there. In my mind, my thoughts and dare I even think my heart. Against all the odds he has managed to find a way in there, as unbelievable as that is. The decision I have to make now is whether I should open up to him, take a risk and let him in or put a stop to this madness. Either way I'm terrified.

Everything around me is perfectly still and the only thing I can hear is my slow and steady breathing when a small sounds startles me. I listen for it again and I can just make out my name being called.

"Rey".

Kylo Ren's POV

The image of Rey is still there. Everything else has gone, my mind is clear but there she is. Maybe this is the sign that I need. Everything else in my life can be put on hold but not her. She will always be there. And that is the one thing that has always been missing from my life, someone who will always be there, be there for me. Everything up until now has been either me being alone or passed from one person to the next with no stability or a constant.

She is there in my mind, my thoughts and as much as I don't know how it happened even in my heart. I want to open up to her and let her in but I tried that with my family and look where that got me. I don't know what to do, either way I'm terrified.

I concentrate on the image of Rey and I think just how beautiful she is. I smile as I say her name "Rey".

Everything around me is perfectly still and the only thing I can hear is my slow and steady breathing when a small sound startles me. I listen for it again then I can just make out my name being called.

"Kylo?"

I open my eyes but I'm still alone in the cave. Then I hear it again, in my head "Kylo. Can you hear me?"