Insane.

Chapter 10

Amnesia- 5SOS

Say Something- A Great Big World

All Of Me- John Legend

Even My Dad Does Sometimes- Ed Sheeran

*NIALLS POV*

It was a dream. Just a dream.

I've never felt pain like that before. I've felt so many different types of pain, ranging from physical to emotional and everything in between. But the pain I just felt was nothing like I've ever had before.

I thought she was gone. I truly believed I had killed her. I felt the last string holding myself together snap, and all my walls came crashing down around me. I couldn't breathe. My mind was reeling and there were so many things going through it that I couldn't focus on anything.

Dr.Wall is standing in the corner and Harley is kneeling by my bed with her face inches from mine. Her green eyes stare at me in deep worry, like they are about to cry.

"It's okay, Niall. I'm here." She runs her small hand down my cheek and I take slow, deep breaths, trying to calm my heartbeat.

"I'm so sorry." I whisper.

"Don't be. You did nothing wrong."

But I did. My mind did. My mind killed her and who knows what could happen now. What if I hurt her in real life? I would never ever want to hurt any part of her. I love her. If I were to ever hurt her I would never be able to live with myself.

"I will never hurt you." I whisper.

A small smile plays on her pretty face and she replies, "I know, Niall. I know."

She looks into my eyes, and I look into hers. All I see is the terror I saw in her eyes in my dream. I see the mascara and tears falling down her face as she begs me not to hurt her.

I'm so afraid. I've killed people before. I killed my own parents and I won't deny it. I know I am capable of killing her. But god damn, I can't. I won't. I hope. I know I've been doing better lately, but I know that I can get out of control and I do things I don't want to do. If I were ever to lose control around her... I don't even want to think about it.

"I'm so scared." I mumble.

"It's okay. You're safe."

Why is she so good to me? I don't deserve it. She's here worried about me when she should be worrying about herself, about her safety. But she's not even questioning it. Why does she trust me so much? I don't even trust me.

I still haven't stopped crying yet. And I still can barely breathe. I look into her eyes again, which are filled with so much compassion that it breaks me even further. I let my head fall into her chest and loosely wrap my arms around her waist.

"Can we have a minute?" She asks Dr.Wall. I almost forgot he was here.

"Uh-yeah. I guess." He stutters and walks out of the room.

When the door shuts behind him, Harley's arms tightly wrap around me. She holds my body closer than anyone has ever held me before. I can barely breathe, but in a good way.

"It was so real." I mumble.

"It's not real, it never will be. Okay?" Her hand slides up and down my back slowly.

"How do you know? I can't control it."

"Because. I know you, Niall." She pulls away from my body and looks me in the eyes again. "I know you better than anyone. I know you would never hurt me. And whatever goes on in your mind, I know you can't control it, but it can't control you, either."