Insane.

Chapter 33

Moments- One Direction

Say Something- A Great Big World

Thousand Years- Christina Perri

*HARLEYS POV*

Dead?

He can't be.

Tears fall down my cheeks in buckets. My hands tremble like tiny earthquakes and sobs violently erupt like volcanoes from my lips.

I know I've been gone for a while now, but every single day since I left, I've missed him more and more. It's like finally being able to put the last piece to the puzzle, only to find that the remaining piece is nowhere to be found. The short time I was with him, he became a part of me. And now I will never get that part back.

When I left, he was so happy, he was doing so well. He was going to be released soon! How could he be dead?

I never wanted any of this to happen. I love him so much. I haven't stopped loving him since the day I left. And now he's gone.

Gone?

He can't.

It's all my fault. If I wouldn't have left, he'd still be alive. He'd be happy, he'd be on his way to freedom, if not already there. But now he will never get to have it.

My eyes burn as I cry, but I can't stop. And I don't plan to.

I pull his journal out of my purse instinctively. I take it everywhere with me. I don't know why I do, but it's my way of having him here with me. I've just hoped that one day I'd see him again and get to give it to him. But now that will never happen.

Through my tears, I pick a few random entries and read them to myself. It's torture, but I love it.

Sleep is the most innocent thing one can do. And when it's with someone you love, it's also the most beautiful. Her hair is all around me, and it smells like coconut and vanilla, which for some reason reminds me of summer. She snores slightly, but in a way like a bunny tickles it's nose, softly and sweetly. She's got a habit of using my chest as a pillow, which I don't mind at all. I wonder if she can hear my heartbeat because it's racing because of her. I hope it doesn't wake her. She's so peaceful, and wow, she's so beautiful under the pale blue light from the window. I'm so in love with her. Wholly and entirely in love with her.

I love showing her piano tricks. She's so mesmerized by it, and it makes me feel proud of myself. Her small hands barely reach an octave, but she works so hard to make them stretch. She is always so happy when she finally gets something perfectly, and she smiles like a child on christmas. My favorite thing is when she's having trouble figuring something out and so I stand behind her and place my hands over hers to guide them. Her hands are small so they completely disappear under mine, but I can feel them beneath me, and it gives me a strange sense of comfort.

My love for her has completely consumed me. And I don't mind it at all, in fact, I can't get enough. My heart aches when she's gone, but flutters when she's with me. Her smile has got to be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and it makes me the happiest person on earth when it appears because of me. She's so beautiful. I've never seen the seven wonders of the world, but I'm in love with the eighth.

My heart rips from my chest and catches fire right before me. He loved me so much and I love him with all of my heart. But it's too late. He's gone.

It was hard enough leaving him like that. I begged Harry to let me say goodbye to him, but he refused. Walking out of that place was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Now I'm never going to see his brilliantly blue eyes shining in the sun, or hear his loud laughter that makes my heart skip a beat. He will never get to teach me anything else on the piano, and he will never get to play one ever again.