GETAWAY CAR

38. They Say I Did Something Bad

September 11th 2017

Taylor's POV

I've been lying awake for hours by the time the alarm goes off. Karlie stirs beside me as I lie on my back with my hands resting on my bump. Adam's trial starts today and I'm so nervous. My stomach is in knots and I haven't been able to sleep properly. I'm nervous to tell my story and to face him again, but I know I'm doing what's best for us.

"How long have you been awake?" Karlie mumbles as she rolls over, supporting her head with her hand as she looks at me with sleepy eyes. It's only 7am. "Not long." I lie as I push myself up. I know she'll want to pull me from the trial if I show any signs of uncertainty and it took long enough to convince her after my doctors recommendation a few weeks ago.

"Come on, we should get ready. We have to leave by 8.30." I give her a soft smile as I get out of bed and Karlie quickly follows me. I slowly make my way across the hall to Maisie's room, smiling as I see her sitting in her crib, wide awake. "Hi baby." I smile as I make my way to her and she pulls herself up on the side of the crib. "You're such a clever girl." I laugh as I pick her up, balancing her on my bump as I press a kiss to her button nose. "Mama." She babbles as she points behind me and I smile as I turn to see Karlie standing behind us. "She's getting too big." She gets closer, Maisie taking ahold on her finger as she reaches out for her momma.

She's making leaps and bounds in her development, she's started pulling herself up on surfaces and can stand there, and usually just stares at whatever is around her. She's started saying mama too, usually in reference to me or Karlie but occasionally we'll hear her say dada which is like a punch to the heart.

"She really is, it seems like she was born yesterday." I sigh as I look at the little girl in her arms. She's growing so fast and I don't like it. "Do you want breakfast Mais?" I ask as she bounces the baby in her arms and Maisie happily babbles which I take as a yes.

I start walking out of her room but Karlie grabs my arm to stop me. "You know it's not too late to back out. If you're scared or nervous, everyone would understand. You have to think about yourself first and Maisie will be proud of you no matter what." She gives me a serious look and I shake my head as I look into my daughters eyes. "I know that, but if I don't go through with it then I'll never be able to look into her eyes again. It wasn't just us that got hurt, it was her too. She went through so much and I have to do this for her." I nod, I can't let him get away with this the way I let him get away with everything else for so long. "Okay, babe." Karlie smiles and lets me go and we go downstairs in silence.

I have to do this for my kids, it's their lives too.

•••

I sigh as I stand in front of the mirror. I smooth down the white lace over my baby bump, I'm so anxious. "You look lovely." Karlie smiles as she stands behind me, her touch soothing as she rests her hands on my upper arms.  She's wearing a black pencil skirt with a black blouse tucked into it. "How are you feeling?" I ask, I'm so anxious but I'm not even testifying today, Karlie is. "I don't really know, I just want to tell this story so I never have to tell it again." She sighs, a sad smile on her face as she watches me in the mirror. She was so strong and my main support system after that day and somewhere in the aftermath her trauma got lost. "I know, I can't wait until we can put this whole thing behind us." The words leave my mouth as I exhale and Karlie turns me around in her arms, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as she smiles gently.

"We've made it through everything else and we're going to make it through this too. It doesn't matter what they try and pull on us, we have each other." She stares into my eyes and I melt into hers, she's so reassuring when she speaks and I can't even consider arguing with her. "Just remember that I love you." I lean my forehead against hers as I close my eyes, simply taking one last moment of peace before going out into the whirlwind waiting for us.