Chapter 41

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Cally's pov

And again, Alby, Ezra, Minho, Newt, and I were sitting in the Gathering room because of me. This time, it was too discuss the bracelet I had taken off.
     The first thing that stood out about it were the needles. There were four of them, two small ones sticking out the underside, one on the left side and one on the right. The two on the underside were bigger than the two on the left and right, making me wonder how I never felt them inside my skin.
     After some extra struggle with the thing, I was able to take off another layer of fake leather. Now that the layer was gone, it became clear to me why the two on the bottom were thicker. They were syringes.
     Inside the bracelet, there were two kinds of liquids hidden. One was a deep red, and one was yellow. Both were attached to one of the syringes, which were placed in such a way that when I was wearing it, they would end up inside two of my veins.
     Just like last time, I was sitting on the same chair. Ezra was pacing through the room while looking worried at his own bracelet while Minho and Alby were busy examining my now broken one. Newt was standing behind me, one hand on my shoulder. He seemed to be the only calm person within the four walls that surrounded us.
     Since I had started thinking about the bracelet and what it actually could be, I was on edge and a bit anxious. Newt had been trying to calm me down ever since I got the bracelet off in his presence, and to be honest, his presence did help me a little.
     "I can see what those two syringes do," Alby said, still looking at the thing in his hands. "But I don't get where the other two are for."
     "Probably so I wouldn't be able to move it. Even though it's weird that I hadn't felt it before. I mean, I should be able to feel when needles are sticking out of me, right?"
     "One should think so..." Ezra said as he himself tried to move the bracelet around his wrist. It didn't butch, just like mine hadn't.
     "What's this stuff anyway...." Alby mumbled to Minho.
     "Isn't it obvious?" Minho started in a matter of fact kind way, "the red one is wine, and the yellow one is most definitely bear." The sarcasm was clear in his tone of voice, "how the shuck should I know!"
     Alby rolled his eyes, "I mean, what do you think it is?"
     Minho shrugged, "Beats me, man, I have no clue."
     Alby turned himself to the rest of us, "any ideas?" Newt shook his head to make clear he didn't, and so did Ezra.
     "I have an idea," I said with a soft voice. Not sure if I wanted to tell them.
     "Well, spit it out." Alby commanded me when I was too slow for his liking.
     "The red one, I think I've seen it before... or at least something like it."
     "You mean in that movie thing you talked about?" Minho asked, but I shook my head, remembering the flashes from the Changing.
     "Not that I remember, no. I think I saw it during the Changing." After I said that the group fell quiet, I hadn't told them anything about what I had seen during that time. Well, except for what I had told Newt that day, but not a word more.
     They all looked at me with curious expressions on their faces, waiting for me to continue. It was making me nervous. When Newt softly squeezed my shoulder, I took a deep breath and did what they expected from me, "I'm not totally sure about it.... but when I went through all of it, I saw memories. I saw my family and friends, people and things I know, but there also were these things.... weird memories that I wasn't aware of having. One of them was me, sitting on some chair with another girl in front of me. She had this syringe with a red liquid in it, I think this is like that."
     "Could be," Newt stated, "but we still don't know what it does."
     "Okay, it's not that I'm not enjoying this little conversation," Ezra started, "but can we get this fucking thing off of me now?"
     "I don't know if that's a good idea," Minho spoke up.
     Ezra and I both looked confused at him. "Why not?" Ez questioned.
     "We want to know what it does, right?" Minho asked, we nodded in agreement. "And it's obvious that those weird liquid things are being injected into your bloodstream through those syringes."
     "Yes, and that's exactly why I want it out of my motherfucking arm!" Ezra raised his voice, pulling his bracelet-free arm through his messy hair.
     Minho sighed, "come on, do you really need me to spell it out for you? Are you such big idiots?" I had a feeling that I knew where he was going, but I was still waiting for him to say it.
     Nobody reacted so Minho just continued, "we literally have Cally, who up until now, was wearing the thing and you, who is still wearing it."
     Now Alby seemed to catch on to his idea, "you want to see what happens to Cally, compare that to Ezra and that way find out the function of the stuff."
     Minho clapped his hands very slowly and sarcastically. "Finally someone with a working brain."
     "Wait, so I'm going to be a lab rat?" Ezra sounded offended.
     "Not you Shuckface," I said. "We are. This way we see what it had been doing to us."
     "Easy talk for you, you don't have some weird poison being injected into your system."
     I sighed at my brother, "not anymore, no. But what if the liquids are actually good for us? What if not getting it anymore is going to make us sick? It's better to wait so we know what it does and then we'll take off yours too."
     "Or not," Minho added.
     Ezra looked desperately at all of us for a moment, then he let his head hang, making his brown hair fall in front of his eyes. When he looked up again he reacted, "okay, sure. Lets see how this ends for us, shall we?"
    "Good that," Alby said and then turned himself to me, "Cally, if you feel or notice anything. Anything that's different or off. Even if it seems insignificant to you, you have to tell me or Newt immediately. Good that?"
     I nodded to let him know I understood. Then looked down at my right wrist again. It looked like I had been attacked by some crazy cat on steroids. The bleeding had stopped. Not one of the cuts had to be stitched, but there still were some bandages put on them and the scratches and bruises were still clearly visible. Now I took a better look I could also see the little holes where the syringes had been impaled in my body.
     "Okay, I need to go if I want to be able to get back into this crazy place again." Minho interrupted the silence, then he left the room to go do his job. The doors had indeed already opened some time ago and he really needed to go quick.
     Alby also started to walk away, "I need to fix some things before the new Greenie gets here." In the doorway he turned around, "Ezra, you should go to Gally, he's not going to be very happy if ya stay away any longer."
    Ezra's eyes widened for a split second, "good idea, later, Sister." He said as he walked past Alby, making his way to the other Builders. I couldn't help the small chuckle escape my lips. At home Ezra never ran out of fear for some dude. But again, Gally tended to have that effect on people.
     Then Alby turned himself to me and Newt, "same for you two. Get to work."
     "Good that," Newt reacted.
     I just mumbled a 'yes' while I kept staring at my wrist. I was starting to worry again, what if those liquids really are important for me? What if it was some kind of medicine? Or vitamines? Things I need in this place to stay healthy? Even worse, what it those things were the reason I'm not feeling depressed anymore since I got here? If that's the case I've really fucked up this time.... I don't want to feel like that, never again, never.
     My thoughts got interrupted when I felt Newt's hand being lifted from my shoulder, leaving a cold spot. I looked up at him. He took another chair, put it in front of me and sat down, arms leaning on the back of the chair while he looked at me. I stared back for some time, he was frowning a little as if he was thinking of what to say.
     "Penny for your thoughts?" I asked eventually, not comfortable anymore with the staring.
     Newt closed his eyes for a moment and laughed softly. He opened his eyes again and answered my question,  "why is everythin' 'bout you so complicated?"
     I let out a small laugh too, "if I only knew. The moment I find out I would love to explain it to you, Newton."
     Newt smiled for a moment, but then his expression became serious again. "Ya never told me 'bout that memory before."
     I looked down at my wrist again, "well I don't tell you everything."
     "I know that, ya don't need to tell me everythin' either. But you know that, if you want to talk 'bout something. Anything, ya can tell me, right?"
     For a short moment I didn't react, but then I nodded my head that I understood and looked back up to him. He didn't seem convinced. "I really mean it, Cals, I want to help you."
     I smiled at him and said "I know you do." While I stroke a strand of his sandy blonde hair out of his face, only for it to fall back. When I realized what I had done, I frowned with an awkward smile on my face, "I don't know why I did that..."
     Newt laughed, making me let out a small, relieved sigh before starting to laugh, too.
     "You know what's weird?" I asked Newt, who looked at me with a little curiosity in his eyes.
     "You mean besides from almost everythin' that's goin' on right now? No idea."
     I laughed at his command before I continued, "You're always so nice to everybody, and you're always trying to help me and the other Gladers... sometimes I forget that you're just as broken as we are... how have you been holding up anyway?"
     The smile on Newt's face faltered. I could tell he was considering if he would answer honestly or more... socially acceptable. "It's been... I don't bloody know, Cals... I've been..." he trailed off. Maybe this hadn't been the best moment to ask about it.
     I reached out, laying my hand on his knee, and squeezed it softly. Newt responded by laying one of his hands on mine, taking a deep breath, and decided on what to say. "It's been bloody hard... dealing with it all, with what I did... and the consequences of it..." He glanced at his foot, that would probably never stop reminding him of it all. "And... I won't lie, all the klunk suroundin' you has been bloody confusing..." Newt did his best to not sound accusing, and he didn't, still I couldn't shake the slight pang of guilt that appeared in the back of my head. I didn't lingure on it as my friend continued. "But despite all that, lately, it's been a bit easier to breathe."
     One corner of my mouth pulled up in a small smile, "That's good."
     "Yeah... it feels good." A trace of a smile sounded through his voice, just for a moment. I noticed him glance at me before speaking up, louder than before. "Cally, I-" and he cut himself off again, seemingly changing his mind.
     I couldn't help the little spike in my heartbeat when he looked into my eyes with such sincerity. He didn't say anything, but I could tell there was still something he wanted to say, something he wasn't quite ready to talk about.
     I got up from my chair, Newt following my example without question. I moved forward and pulled him into a hug. Newt's arms around my waist pressed me closer against him. "Thank you, Cals." Newt spoke into my hair.
    "For what?" I asked, not letting go of him just yet.
     "Just... bein' there." He answered through a sign.
     His voice was a mix of fragile and relief. I hugged him a little tighter before I responded, "Just returning the favor, Newton."

~.~.~

Edited: 15/11/2020

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