Chapter 57

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Cally's pov

I couldn't believe it... they... they were gone.... trapped inside the Maze. At night.... no one ever survived a night in the Maze. Ever. I've been out there during the day, and I've been hunted by Grievers multiple times. I almost died out there! Multiple times! And that was during the day! Minho... Alby... and now Thomas as well.... there's no way they'll get out alive....
I got pulled out of my thoughts by a sharp pain in my wrist. The one Newt was holding, he was squeezing it, his nails digging into my skin.
"N- Newt..." My voice was soft, gentle, but Newt didn't seem to hear me. His head was hanging low, his hair falling in front of his face. I couldn't see his expression, but I didn't need to see it to know he was more than upset. His free hand balled into a fist, knuckles turning white. His other hand kept tightening around my wrist, I could feel his nails about to break through my skin, making me wince.
"Newt, it hurts..." he didn't even notice I was talking to him. The pain became worse and worse until a sharp sting shot through my arm, I couldn't help the un-voluntary hiss coming from me as I immediately grabbed the wrist of Newt's hand which was digging into my skin. "Let go," I demanded this time, my voice slighlty breaking.
This seemed to snap him out of his own head. Newt's eyes flickered to my wrist, widening in shock as realization hit him, and he immediately let go of my wrist. I took a step back, protectively rubbing
over the sour spot, smudging the little drops of blood that had started to form.
"Sorry..." he whispered while glancing up at me for a second. In that second, I could see his glassy eyes, tears streaming over his cheeks. It was just a split second, but I could see them.
I didn't know my heart could break even more than it already had, but when I saw his face, it did. I stretched out my arms a little, reaching for his hands, but he stepped back.
"No! Cally, no." His voice was raising, startling me a little. I looked at him with brows furrowed, wondering if I had done something wrong. I didn't have to ask, though, he continued himself. "Did you know?"
"What?" I had heard him, but I just couldn't believe what he was suggesting.
"Did you know this was going to happen to them?" His voice was almost a whisper, but he did look me in the eyes while he asked it.
"Dude, no way, tha-" I didn't let Ezra finish.
"Do you... do you really think... I would just let this happen!" My voice turned into a whisper yell. "You think I- I would let them go in there? Knowing that Alby would get stung! Knowing that they won't get back in time! That they would get... get trapped. Inside the Maze. You really think... I- I care that little about them?" My voice cracked up at the last sentence, but I didn't care about my voice, I was hurt about all that happened and angry that Newt suggested I would have let it happen.
"I just-"
"You just, what? Newt?" I didn't let him finish, and I didn't even try to keep my voice down anymore, "you just thought I would abandon my friends like that? Or did you just need someone to blame? Huh? Is that it? Ju-"
"Shut your fucking holes already!" Ezra jumped in between. Literally. He came standing in between us, a hand on my shoulder and one stretched out to Newt. "Let's all just take a breath an-"
I slammed Ezra's hand away. "Ow slim it! You stopped me from helping them! For all we kno-"
"No, Cally," Ezra said, replacing his hand on my shoulder, his voice calm. "If I wouldn't have stopped ya, you would've been trapped in there as well."
"He's right," Newt added, "it wouldn't 've made a difference." I glared from my brother to him. Anger boiling up inside my stomach, mixing with the anxiety I could fysically feel tensing at the back of my skull. Why couldn't they just let me? I could've done it. I could've saved them! I- I should have saved them... My breathing quickened while my eyes switched from Ezra and Newt, both of them looking at me as if I was the one in the wrong... It all became way too much for me, I didn't know how to react or how to process all of this.
I didn't say anything as I angrily pushed past Ezra, walking away with Bark following in my footsteps.
"Sis-"
"Don't!" I bit at my brother, which got him to stop. I didn't look back and didn't look where I was going as I stormed off, I just couldn't be around anyone right now.

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