i'm sorry you loved me ; samo

thirteen

everyone except mina had gone home after awhile. they all had homework or extracurricular activities. mina stayed though, and did her homework on momo's bed while momo laid on the flood, staring at her. it was momo's favorite thing to do.

her phone sat next to her, waiting for sana to call her back. mina kept looking back at momo, who was no longer phased by her staring.

momo wanted to kiss her. what was new? she always wanted to.

mina got off the bed as if she could read momo's mind. she sat next to her and pulled her forward, kissing her softly.

"i love you, hirai momo." she said in japanese. she rarely spoke japanese even if it was just her and momo. everytime she did, momo's heart did flips.

"you sound so cute." she whispered against mina's lips.

mina smiled. they got up and momo locked her door and prayed her parents didn't try to come in. they got on momo's bed and got in the same position as they were the first time they had gotten this far.

momo felt confident this time. she wanted this. she slid her hands up mina's shirt this time, and mina instantly took it off, along with her bra. momo didn't know what to do, so she just kept her lips pressed against mina's.

momo's shirt came off, and her pants went as well. mina's lips pressed against momo's jawline and down to her neck, and momo could feel mina leaving a hickey on her neck. she bit her lip to suppress the moan that was rising in her throat. if anyone heard either of them make a sound, momo knew her parents would kill her.

momo took a deep breath and slid her hands up mina's bare sides, making her way to mina's chest and gently grabbing her breasts. mina giggled and sat up straight, and threw her head back. momo felt like she was going to explode.

momo squeezed mina's breasts, still not really sure if she was doing any of this right. mina could sense her nervousness and giggled. "you okay?" she asked.

momo gulped and nodded. "im okay. a-are you okay?" she asked, her voice quivering.

mina let out another giggle. "i'm fine." she said breathlessly. "i'm doing amazing, actually."

mina's skirt came off, and momo was scared to do anything. she didn't want to do anything wrong, so she let mina take charge, and momo felt amazing.

they both had their limits. momo knew mina didn't want to do too much, and momo didn't want to either. they just wanted to feel good to an extent.

her toes curled as mina explored her body. momo bit down on her lip so hard she swore she was about to bite through it. momo's face got hot, and she giggled nervously, throwing her hands over her face.

"don't be so shy, momo." mina whispered, moving momo's hands away from her face.
"this is okay." she finished. momo simply smiled in response. they switched positions and momo straddled mina, and they simply made out for awhile. momo lost track of the time. then they laid in bed for a few minutes before mina realized the time.

"my parents are gonna kill me." mina sighed, pulling her clothes back on. "but i think it was worth it."

momo nodded and got dressed as well. she unlocked her door and opened it, and almost jumped out of her skin when she saw her mother only feet away from it.

"oh! hi, momo. i wasn't eavesdropping, promise. i just came up here to check on you guys. it's getting late, mina. do your parents know where you are?" she babbled.

mina smiled and nodded. "yes. i was just on my way out."

momo's mother nodded and walked away. mina grabbed momo's hands. "see you tomorrow." she whispered, giving her a quick kiss.

"also..." mina said, moving momo's hair away from her neck. "don't forget to cover that up."

momo gasped and her hand flew to cover the bruise mina had left.  they both began to laugh, and then mina was gone.

she went back into her room and closed the door, jumping up and down. so much had happened. her day was awful, but then it got better. so much better. she couldn't wait to tell sana.

but sana never found out.

momo was laying on her bed when sana called, about 20 minutes after mina left. "sana!" momo answered. "i can't wait to tell you about today." she sighed.

sana was quiet on the other line for a moment. "momo, we need to have a serious talk." she whispered.

momo's smile faded. "about what?" she questioned, sitting up. that was never a good sign.

"i.. i don't know how to explain it, but.. even after you left, i still had feelings for you. we don't talk anymore and it makes me feel like shit. the only time you call me is when you want to tell me something you can't tell your new friends, or when you want to tell me about a milestone you've reached." sana exploded.

momo flinched because that was exactly what she was going to do.

"you never ask me how i am, you never tried to see me again. it's almost been two years, momo. you haven't put any effort into our friendship. i know you have new friends and a new life but you can't just leave me behind. what about nayeon and jeongyeon?" sana asked.

"don't blame this on me." momo scoffed. "you haven't put any effort in our friendship either. you never call me first, and whenever we talk it's just awkward." momo fought. "and why can't you be happy for me? you were happy for me and mina." she recalled.

"i wasn't." sana admitted. "it fucking hurt me, momo. i loved you, did you miss that part?"

"okay, well i'm sorry. i'm sorry you loved me." momo shot back.

"yeah. i'm sorry too, because i don't think it was worth it." sana said harshly.

momo's heart sank when sana said that. "what has gotten into you?" she exclaimed. sana had never acted like this.

"nothing has gotten into me." sana shouted. "you've treated me like shit since you left. i was your best friend, momo. i was always there for you and you totally blew me off like i was nothing!" she continued.

"i didn't do shit to you, and you know that. distance is a bitch, alright? i'm sorry i can't be there for you every second of the day." momo retaliated. "it's not my fault youre so sensitive."

"fuck you." sana burst out.

"fuck you!" momo shouted out. "god, you are such a drama queen." she said with a laugh. "i feel bad that nayeon and jeongyeon have to be around you."

"atleast they still care for me, unlike someone who just left and forgot about our existence." sana spat.

"you know what, i don't have time for this. i thought our friendship was fine, but i guess i was wrong about that." momo muttered.

"yeah. guess you were." sana responded.

"i hope you feel better now." momo said, her voice beginning to shake. sana didn't reply.

"bye." momo said quickly before hanging up. she instantly put her hands over her mouth, tears beginning to flow down her face. she sunk to the ground, her back pressed against her bed. her door opened slightly and momo quickly wiped the tears away.

her mother poked her head in. "momo? honey? who were you talking to?" she asked.

"sana." momo croaked.

her mother's face fell and she joined momo on the floor, hugging her tightly. "im sorry, sweetie. i'm sure everything will be okay."

her mother held her while she cried, and momo didnt even know how long she cried for. her mother helped her stand up and momo sat on her bed, wiping her eyes. she couldn't breathe through her nose.

"i'm sure she'll call you tomorrow, and you two will make up. you're best friends! best friends always figure things out." her mother said, comforting her. momo nodded. she just wanted to be alone now. her mother got up and left, and momo laid down in her bed. physically, she was exhausted. but her mind was racing, and it wouldn't slow down. she tossed and turned for what felt like hours until she finally drifted off to sleep. the only thing on her mind was sana.