Winter's End [winter soldier//Bucky Barnes AU]

Chapter One

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"Your heart is cold,
Your blood is ice,
Your skin is frozen to the touch-

But he warms you."

-((not written by me- credit goes to the author))

WINTER SERIES • BOOK THREE

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*Sarah's POV*

I wish I could've stayed asleep.

Sleep was the only thing, besides Bucky and the team, that was keeping me here anymore.

Sleep was a state of peaceful, mindless, ignorant bliss. It should never be taken for granted. Because believe me, living with little to no sleep is horrible.

Sleep also keeps my mind off of the horrors that constantly surround me.

So you could understand why I was beyond pissed when I woke up, because not only was the blinding sunlight severely irritating, but I also remembered something that immediately crushed my soul.

Bucky was most likely dead.

Tears flooded my eyes nearly instantly, as overwhelming emotions and painful grief crushed me. Bucky couldn't be dead. He just couldn't.

He meant everything to me. He made me feel safe, made me feel warm, made me feel loved, for the first time in a very long time. He was a broken man that I craved to fix. He was an endless riddle that I longed to solve.

But most of all, he was my first and only love.

And I just couldn't accept that he was gone.

So there I lay, crying, when Steve walked past my room. I didn't even attempt to cover up the fact that I was crying when he glanced at me through the window.

When he saw me, his face lit up and he ran into the room, coming over to my bed and grabbing my hand that was wet with tears. He reached up with his other hand and wiped one of my many tears away, a smile of relief spreading across his face.

"Sarah, you're ok." He said. His voice was barely above a whisper. I smiled slightly, numb, and nodded.

"I thought for sure that that blast had killed us when it went off. But somehow, it didn't. And then when you fell into a coma...I wasn't sure if you would make it."

I squeezed his hand lightly, trying to reassure him. He tried to do the same for me, but there was absolutely no way he could possibly reassure me. Except when he spoke his next words.

"Bucky is alive, Sarah."

I looked at him, eyes wide in shock. How the hell could Bucky be alive?!

"What?" I asked, not believing him at first. But he was Captain America; he couldn't lie.

"Bucky is alive. The doctors here had enough blood that was his type to do a transfusion, and were able to surgically repair the hole in his lung, at least temporarily. His fast-healing managed to save him once the doctors couldn't do anything else." Steve said quietly, and I smiled the widest smile I could, sitting up a little and squeezing him in a bone-crushing hug. He laughed awkwardly, hugging back.

"Can I see him?" I croaked, already tired from the rush of emotions and the simple act of hugging Steve. His smile faded a bit.

"No. He's asleep. The doctors say he won't wake up for a couple days, so we are stuck waiting. If he doesn't wake up by next week, then there's nothing we can do." He said, taking a shaky breath. I frowned and nodded.

At least he had a chance.

Steve left not too much longer after that, giving me a kiss on the hand and promising he'd be back soon. I watched him go, grateful for his actions but craving the warmth of someone else. The warmth of Bucky.

I sat in my bed, fighting off the medicine that was urging me to just go back to sleep. My body would love to go back to sleep, but now that I knew that Bucky was still alive, I couldn't succumb to the dark nothingness sleep brought. What if something happened to him while I was sleeping? What if Steve came back later with news of Bucky, but them left because he saw that I was sleeping?

I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

I stared out of my window, looking outside at the beautiful day. The sky was a gorgeous, infinite blue, the kind that made you feel like no matter what, everything would be ok. Even though for us heroes, it never would be.

The birds danced in circles around the trees, calling for one another as they played. The trees played with them- swaying in the light, summery breeze. It was such a beautiful, innocent sight.

I wish Bucky could see it.

I wish Bucky was awake. I wish he never got shot. I wish people weren't constantly trying to kill us. I wish that we would be able to grow old together. I wish we had a future.

But I don't have a magic lamp, I don't have a wishing well, I don't have a wish-granting factory. Life just doesn't work that way.

Eventually, the voices in my head are too loud, and I close my eyes.

Instantly I'm asleep.

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*Natasha's POV*

I sat in the waiting room, curled up with Steve. We sat huddled together in the corner, with the rest of the team, that was still awake, sitting nearby.

In all my years of combat, I've never felt so completely helpless. My best friend and three of my teammates were all lying just a few rooms away, attached to millions of machines that were living for them.

Luckily, Sarah was awake and alright. Steve said she hadn't even mentioned anything about pain. Which was good.

But Clint was still unconscious and unresponsive. Which killed me inside, knowing that he could die. Same with Peter, and same with Bucky. But Bucky was by far the worst of us all.

His breathing problems (due to his punctured lung), along with the loss of over 55 percent of his blood, and severe head trauma, were all adding up against his chances of survival. I prayed with all my might that he would pull through.

He had to- they all had to- because I couldn't imagine the world without them.

Steve sighed and shifted next to me, pulling my head against his chest. I listened to his strong, steady heartbeat.

I thought of what it would be like if that heartbeat just stopped.

And realized, right then, how much Steve had come to mean to me. What if I was in Sarah's place right now? Knowing that Steve was dying, but unable to do anything about it or even see him?

I can't wait for Loki to come back.

Because I'm going to splatter his Asgardian guts across the goddamn pavement, and escort him myself to the worst hell there is.

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