Winter's End [winter soldier//Bucky Barnes AU]

Chapter Thirty

*Sarah's POV*

I watched his face from across the table. He smiled and laughed at everyone, joining in the conversations and fooling around. His eyes were bright and happy, eagerly looking around as if seeing things for the first time, and his smile brightened my world.

I wondered if he would make a good father.

I know that it will never happen- that he will never be able to meet his child, that we can never be a happy family. The baby won't have the best of lives, because of who it's parents are- assuming I even live long enough to raise it. Worst yet, the child may be killed if someone were to find it.

I know all these things. Yet I can't get rid of something so innocent, something created out of love.

I'm stuck.

It's killing me to not reveal it to him, to not let him know of the life inside of me. He deserves to know but I can't afford to tell him. He would insist on raising the child together, and would insist on trying to live a full life with the child; he'd never let me leave with the baby. He'd put us all in danger unwillingly. The child just can't grow up around powerful superheroes that are constantly being attacked by others. The baby would end up in the line of fire, or even be targeted itself, simply because it is the only child of a superhero. Not to mention the likeliness of the child inheriting my powers. The list of risks and dangers is a mile long, and I don't have a solution to any of them besides separating myself from the group. Which won't be easy at all. I love them all so much.

I look around the table at all of the faces of the people I love. They smile and laugh, the worry lines and years of battle disappearing from their face for the first time in a long time. They joke with each other; Steve repeatedly cracks lame war jokes, Tony sees how many magnets he can stick to Bucky's arm before he notices, Natasha karate-chops Clint as he tries to steal a French fry, and Bruce's food sits untouched as he tinkers with different scientific tools.

They are all oblivious to the fact that I'll be gone soon, but I want to remember them as how they are now. Laughing, smiling, happy.

Soon we finish eating, and everyone drifts away to do their own thing. Steve and Natasha headed towards the gym, and Bucky glanced at them before turning back towards me.

"You coming with?" He asked, smiling widely before taking me in his arms. I forgot about my problems immediately, enjoying his warmth for as long as I could and mirroring his smile.

"I'm a tad bit tired from this mornings' six hour workout." I replied sarcastically, and he laughed, throwing his head back slightly and closing his eyes. He was so beautiful and so different from who he used to be.

"Fair enough, I suppose. I'm going to do a bit more. I'll be done in an hour but if you need me before then, just come get me." He said lightly, and I smiled and nodded. He then leaned forward, pressing his soft lips to mine. My eyes fluttered closed as he swallowed me whole.

But then he pulled away, much too soon for me. He gave me a wink and then turned, jogging to catch up to Steve and Nat and joining their conversation. I watched his back until he turned the corner with them.

Turning around, I found myself the last person in the room. Everyone had dispersed pretty quickly, and with the weight hanging over my head right now, I found myself needing some comic relief. So I headed towards Tony's lab.

When I entered he had a giant bag of blueberries in his hand, as usual. He says they help him think. Him and Bruce were discussing something intently, but they both looked up when I walked in.

"Hey Sarah," Tony greeted. "What brings you to my humble abode?"

I rolled my eyes. "This whole building is your home, genius."

He simply laughed, popping more blueberries in his mouth. Banner chuckled at Tony and looked intently at several papers he had in his hand. There was something written at the top, in pretty big letters, but I couldn't quite make it out.

"What are you guys working on?" I asked, hopping up on the counter. Tony gave me an 'are you really sitting on my counter' look, but I ignored him.

"A new idea of Stark's." Banner replied, still bent over several papers. Tony scowled at Bruce.

"It's not just an 'idea.' It's revolutionary, and it's going to make our lives a hundred times easier." He said, and I didn't reply, waiting for him to continue.

"It's called Project Ultron. The idea is to make a system of intricate robots that can fight crime for us, or even with us. So if a small fight broke out somewhere, the robots could go take care of it before it becomes a problem. It's almost like a backup defense for Earth." He explained, and my eyes widened. It was a genius idea. And knowing Tony, he could probably pull it off.

"Wow. Do you think it would really work?"

Tony shrugged. "Not sure. But I'm sick of fighting, so I'm giving it a go."

I nodded, trying to process the idea. A safer world? Defense system for Earth? Less fighting for us?

Is Tony creating something that could allow me to stay with Bucky and have the baby in peace?

--

Hours later, everyone was settling in for bed. I had already climbed under the covers when the door to the bathroom opened, Bucky walking out. His hair was soaking from the shower he had just taken. Eyeing me, he gave me a wide smile, before sliding under the covers with me. I shifted and laid with my head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his clean scent. His fingers ran through my hair absentmindedly.

"I love you," he whispered into my hair. My heart constricted, and I desperately tried to memorize how he said it. I didn't know if I would ever hear him say it again.

"I love you too."

"We're safe." He added, and a tear slipped from my eye.

"We're safe," I choked out.

---

AN

I am soooo freaking sorry that it's been so long since I updated!! I've had a lot of gymnastics, a lot of family stuff, and just generally a whole lot of stuff to do.

Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter!! I think I'm going to write one more, and then continue the next book (with the Age of Ultron storyline) after the movie comes out.

Please tell me what you think😊

-Jordan💕