Winter's End [winter soldier//Bucky Barnes AU]

Chapter Twenty Nine

THREE WEEKS LATER

*Bucky's POV*

My eyes snapped open the second I heard it. I shook off the grogginess, making sure I heard correctly- my worries confirmed when the sound of heaving made its way to my ears. I sat up in bed and paused, the sound coming from the small, lavish bathroom that broke off from our room. I shoved the blankets off of me and made my tired way over to the door, finding the source of the noise- Sarah, on the floor, throwing up yesterday's dinner. I sighed, hating to see her feeling so terrible, and leaned down to hold her hair back from the toilet seat. Her body shook.

"Shh, it's alright baby." I said, rubbing her back in small circles with my thumb. Her body trembled as it struggled to rid itself of it's own contents. She threw up once more before wiping the putrid bile on a towel, and leaned back weakly into me. I wrapped my arms around her beautiful body gently and stroked her soft hair as she focused on breathing. I gave her a few moments to close her eyes, giving her mind and body some recovery time.

"What made you sick?" I then asked lightly, not really expecting an answer. But she gave me a small shrug and sighed, shifting her weight so she was no longer leaning against me. The lack of her body against mine made me cold.

"No idea. I'm just glad it's over." She replied, and I nodded, leaning across her and pushing the handle down. The contents of her stomach swirled down the pipes and out of sight, the smell following suit.

"Do you want to go back to bed or do you need to stay here?" I asked her, and she paused to consider her options. Silence followed briefly before she moved to rest against the wall, beside the toilet. Her eyes lacked their usual sparkle and I hated seeing her worn down like this.

"I'm gonna stay here for a little longer. Can you get me a glass of water?" She finally spoke, and I nodded, standing up and pushing the door behind me, leaving it halfway closed. My legs carried me down the stairs, the cold tile sending shivers through my body as I headed towards the kitchen. Steve was sitting at the counter, the morning paper in his hands and a mug sitting besides him, untouched and steaming. He looked up and smiled when I walked in.

"Morning," his gruff voice greeted. I raised my eyebrows in a reply, searching the cabinets above the sink for a glass. Once I located one I latched my metal hand around it, pulling it down.

"Where's Sarah? Still sleeping?" Steve asked, and I sighed, placing the glass under the faucet and turning it on before looking back at him.

"No. She's not feeling so well today. Found her in the bathroom coughing up her last meal." I answered, and his eyes grew troubled. It was nice how he cared for her.

Water began overfilling the cup and I reached down, turning the faucet off and setting the glass on the granite counter beside the sink. I snatched a paper towel from the nearby roll and mopped up the spilled water, deciding to also grab a wet washcloth, so Sarah could press it against her head. I remember my mom doing that to me when I was little, and making me feel substantially better. Although that was a long, long time ago, and only God knows if I was remembering that correctly.

"Tell Sarah I hope she feels better!" Steve called as I headed back upstairs, and I turned, giving him a smile.

"Will do."

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*Sarah's POV*

The second he left the room, my panic went into overdrive. He didn't suspect anything, which was my plan, and I knew that he could never find out.

I was pregnant.

This wasn't just some fluke. I've been feeling nauseous and strange since we did it last month, and finally bought a few tests from the gas station yesterday. All three turned out positive- confirming my fears and leaving me terrified. I hadn't thought to use protection back then, and now, I'm going to pay for it.

I wrapped my arms carefully around my knees and hid my face, tears beginning to fall freely. The hot, salty drops fell onto the floor with tiny patters, and I stared that the puddle they made, wondering what the hell I was going to do. I couldn't bring a baby into this world when Hydra may still be out there, lurking and waiting to possibly strike back. I couldn't bring a baby into this world with my body, that's been tortured and changed over the last year; and who knows how my ice powers would affect the child. Could I even use them while pregnant? I have no idea. I also have no idea how to raise a child.

But at the same time, I couldn't not bring the child into the world. It was a piece of me, a piece of Bucky, and I couldn't bring myself to destroy something so innocent and pure. God knows we lacked those traits in the world today.

I knew that I had to keep the baby, but there was no way I could ever tell the other Avengers. They could never know. It would endanger everyone, put their lives at risk, and ultimately end terribly. I knew that we would have bigger battles to fight and the world needed the Avengers to fight them, and to win, we couldn't have a baby to take care of. Not when we are being targeted and moving constantly.

I was stuck, my back against an unforgiving wall and with nowhere to turn. That's why the tears were falling so fast.

But Bucky would return soon, and I needed to erase the tears and pain from my face, and protect him from this. So I stood on my weak legs and grabbed another towel, wiping the tears from my cheeks, and grabbed cover up to mask the red on my face. By the time Bucky walked in, all traces of my internal pain were gone, my tracks completely clean. He suspected nothing.

And as I accepted the glass of water from his outstretched hand, I knew it had to stay that way.

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A.N.

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-Jordan💕