Winter's End [winter soldier//Bucky Barnes AU]

Chapter Twenty Six

2 DAYS LATER

*Sarah's POV*

I stared up at the dark sky. Rain droplets made their way onto my face and mixed with my dried tears, the cold moisture numbing me. Thunder boomed and shook the earth beneath my feet.

My fingers intertwined with Buckys, and we stood with everyone else in the small clearing, all of us clutching umbrellas and huddling together to escape the wind and rain. We stared down at the two gravestones in front of us.

They cast no shadows in the lack of daylight.

R.I.P.
Peter Parker
Spider-Man
A loyal friend and teammate, that deserved so much more. Hope you and Gwen are happy in heaven.

R.I.P.
Valerie
A hero, friend, and loyal teammate. We will never forget you.

Cara stood on her own, staring down at Peter's tombstone. Tears streamed down her face as she silently sobbed; she was much closer with him than anyone else. She wore a black leather jacket, along with a black baseball cap, and she pulled the jacket tightly around her. She didn't have an umbrella and refused all of our offers.

John, on the other hand, was kneeling on his knees in front of Valerie's recently buried coffin, staring at his sisters grave. He was also crying.

We didn't have any kind of a service, or any kind of a burial ceremony. Old S.H.I.E.L.D. agents had buried them, and we had simply come to say our final goodbyes. Valerie's death seemed like ages ago. Crossbones seemed like a distant, vague memory- while Peter's death was fresh in my mind. It was the only thing I saw when I closed my eyes.

The thing that really got me was the fact that just minutes before his death, me and him and Bucky were all fighting together. Watching each other's backs. Dodging the bullets simultaneously. I had been fighting with a living, breathing Peter, and I found it terrifying that when I had been fighting with him, I never once thought 'hey, this boy might be dead soon.' I thought for sure I'd have more time with him.

I was wrong.

I turned and rested my head on Bucky's collarbone, breathing in his smell and letting it consume my senses. His arms enveloped me into a world far away from here, a world where I could pretend Peter was alive, Valerie was alive, and all of us were safe.

But even Bucky's presence couldn't warp reality that much.

"Peter, I hope you and Gwen can live happily in heaven. We miss you down here. The world misses it's Spider-Man." I heard Cara whisper quietly to the motionless tombstone, the last shred of Peter left. "I miss you, too."

After that, I blocked everything out. Bucky took me away from everyone else so I wouldn't have to hear their sad words. He pulled me over to a spot under a thick section of trees, that acted as a natural umbrella against the cliche rain currently falling on the cemetery. I took a seat on a large rock, and he kneeled down in front of me, his metal hand resting on my knee.

"Are you going to be ok?" He asked quietly, and I nodded immediately. His hand squeezed my knee.

"We will make it through this, like we always do. We have to push through for their sake. And we're safe, Sarah, just like before all of this. We're safe again." He told me, and I almost started crying. This man knew exactly what to say to make everything better.

He wiped the single tear that fell from my eye with the back of his thumb, and I grabbed his hand before he let it fall back onto his lap, intertwining our fingers. I took a deep breath and cleared my mind; mentally sorting through pictures of Peter's death, the tortured souls that Hydra created, and the hundreds of people I've killed. My brain cast the images aside and for the first time in months, I could breathe.

--

Hours later, we were back at Stark's tower. Where we had started so many months ago.

Pepper graciously offered me, Cara and Natasha her clothes, and I currently had a sweatshirt and leggings on to escape the cold. Bucky and I were sharing a room on the penthouse level of the tower. The rest of the team, including Stark and Pepper, were on the same floor.

Sometime after I had changed Tony used the intercom to tell us to come to the kitchen for dinner. So me and Bucky wandered around a bit, hand in hand, until we caught scent of our dinner in progress. We followed the trail to the enormous kitchen, finding Pepper twirling around the kitchen with pots and pans almost bigger than her, and we stepped in to help. Soon everyone came in to eat.

"Thank god. Pepper you are a life saver." Tony called when he came into the room. He hugged Pepper and kissed her- he looked like he really loved her.

"Excuse you. We helped too!" I said, and he rolled his eyes at me and Buck.

"You and magnet boy probably messed something up!" He retorted.

I was going to reply with a snappy comeback, but then I remembered something, and stayed silent. He smirked, thinking he won. Too bad he had another thing coming.

Soon everyone else came filing in and we grabbed our plates, filling it up with everything we could find. I could hardly remember the last meal I had had. My stomach was growling and twisting, completely empty.

I sat on the floor, in front of the coffee table, and dug in. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tony searching for the TV remote. I stared at my food and looked normal on the outside, but on the inside I was laughing. He thinks he's gonna get away with it.

Everyone else eventually joined me in front of the TV, also digging into their food and filling their empty stomachs. I saw Tony look around before sitting on the remote. I knew he was trying to hide it from me.

So, I gave him a head start, and stood to put my plate in the sink; leaving the room and giving him a thirty second window to try to turn on Doctor Who. I had just left the room when the screen lit up, and I rushed to put my dish in the sink. The second I got back he had just clicked Doctor Who.

I ran in and froze the remote, his jaw falling open. Cara locked eyes with me and used her powers to lift the remote into my outstretched hand.

"Sarah you can't do this to MY tv!" Tony wailed, sounding like a five year old child. I snorted and held up the block of ice that used to be the remote.

"Really? Because I just did."

Everyone started laughing, eyeing the standoff between me and Stark, who was blubbering obscenities in my direction. I unfroze the remote and searched the guide, locating my favorite show and clicking on it. Dr. Temperance Brennan came on the screen, instantly making me happier.

"Sarah PLEASE let me watch my show!" Tony whined, and I rolled my eyes at him, turning the volume up. Everyone ignored Tony and focused on the show.

I fell into the world of Dr. Brennan, imagining that I was a part of that world rather than the cruel one we were living in currently.

I worked to solve the fake murder inside my head, and when it was over, I felt better, until the weight of the past year of my life came crashing down on me again.

I'm not sure I'll ever fully recover.

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