Perri and Him-the fifth book to series 'Perri and Me' about Perri Kiely

Chapter 3 Part 8

At around 1am I give in. I get out of bed, shivering still in my underwear so go find a dressing gown and walk out, still cold to find him lying on the couch. Not exactly asleep but eyes closed, thinking. I thought about how he just shouted at me and a sensation of anger rose up inside me but I ignore it.

"Pel?" I say, eyes struck with tears. "You need sleep. And this isn't exactly comfortable."

It took him a while but he rolled to lie on his back.

"Really?" He whispers. "You still want me in bed with you after what I just said?"

I sigh loudly.

"I'm not thinking about my feelings anymore." I retort. "And you didn't mean what you said. I know it."

"How do you know?" He says, looking me up and down.

"I suggest you don't try and say anything witty or sarcastic because I'm pissed of with you, okay? I'm not sympathetic towards you in any shape of form but I'm not going to let you lie here in pain. I'm not that kind of person.."

He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out so I turn around and find his wheelchair.

"Come on.." I sigh, holding my hand out.

"Thanks..." He says, using me as a leaning tool.

Skipping the hassle he's finally in bed with me.

Perri wraps his hands around my stomach.

"I'm sorry..." He whispers, into my ear.

"Okay." I say, blankly, trying not to show emotion.

"Come on. Say you forgive me, Ambs." He says.

"Of course I forgive you!" I almost shout, frustrated. "I need you..."

He pauses before whispering, "Not anymore..."

I make a sound in between irritation and anger.

"Just let me go..." I say, trying not to cry.

Why does he keep saying that? Like it's my fault? So I feel like if he doesn't dance again I'll never forgive myself?

"Sorry." He says.

"I thought I was the one who always apologised." I say, a tear escaping from my eyes.

"Amber-"

"Just shut up! Shut up so I can cry my freakin' self to sleep!" I scream.

"I-"

He just sighs and releases his grip around me before turning over. I know he feels like crap okay? So do I.

The next morning I felt like someone had played rugby, using me as the ball. I felt so tired and dizzy. I wanted to say sorry to Pel but there was no one next to me and it was already 11am.

There where whispers coming from outside. I restrained myself from being sick, brushed my teeth and had a shower.

Then I have Reid a sort of bubble bath before changing him. I put on some leather black jeggins, a gold top and a black jacket with heels. Even made an effort with make up.

Perri was outside, still in his pyjamas, talking to his Mum. The last words I heard her say before she looked at me was 'therapy'

For Pel? Probably. I was carrying Reid. I make him a bottle and feed him before carrying him at my hip. I call Lucy who was down the road in her 'rented flat' and wanted to take care of Reid. I planned on going to Danceworks. I did feel bad for Pel but Karen offers to stay with him the whole day.