Perri and Him-the fifth book to series 'Perri and Me' about Perri Kiely

Chapter 3 Part 10

I finally get back to the familiar doorstep at 10pm. I carry Reid out of the car. I feel his soft breath against my bare shoulder.

I had stopped off at the gas station and gotten some petrol. Then I got distracted with buying gum and all sorts.

"At least he's breathing.." Is what I think.

I carry him along with the rest of my stuff and use my key to open the door. I can't wait to tell Perri that Reid is okay. I can't wait for him to wrap his arms around me. I can't wait to apologise for the impatience and anger in my voice before I left for the hospital. I can't wait to tell him that I can't wait to see him dance again..

I push the door open and lock it behind me. A wave of panic rises inside me when I think about the person who attacked me and almost killed me a few minutes ago. I start deliberating weather to tell him or not. Maybe tomorrow morning. I somehow feel this is the first normal night were everything is a hundred percent okay with both of our feelings. It has been a while and I don't want to ruin that.

"Pel.." I call, after locking the doors behind me.

Maybe he's asleep. I walk into the room I share with Perri and when he's not there, my heart starts to beat even faster.

I don't want to raise my voice as not to wake Reid up. I walk up to my bed and lay him carefully on it, covering him with the duvet and kissing him on the cheek. ceremoniously.

I search every room. Even the closet as if he would be hiding there. The most worrying thing is that his phones are still perfectly on the coffee table where we sat on the couch behind it and he'd kissed me so passionately.

Tears sting at he back of my eyes but crying alone is stupid. I wipe any trace of then from my eyes. If he doesn't have his phones, I can't call him. Maybe Karen took him to his house and he'd forgotten his phones by mistake?

I'd like to believe that. I rush into the bedroom and grab my coat from inside my bag before dialling Karen's number. It goes to voicemail and I roll my eyes.

"Karen." I say, my voice shaking. "I...I can't find Pel anywhere. I just came home with Reid and he just seemed to disa-"

I realised I was sitting on something that I just sat down on and crumpled. I stand up and grasp the paper in my hands. It looks like a letter. And it's in Perri's neat, careful writing, which wasn't so legible. I press the 'cancel call' button on my phone and hold the letter carefully in both hands as if it's the last piece of Pel I was ever going to hold.

'Dear Amber' It read.

'I thought a lot when you were gone. I've been thinking the same thing since this happened to me. To us. To Reid and his little sister.'

Tears fill my eyes again, as I read on, my heart stopping and starting at every word.

'I know everything's alright with him. It's only asthma, as I called the hospital.'

"It's only asthma?" I want to cry out, but my voice is burning.

'I can't be around you. I can't bear to see you everyday when I can't help you. I know you're pregnant. But you'd rather have me away from you than to be an obstacle. I don't want to leave and I'm sorry but it seems that it's best. I want to focus completely on recovering and see what my options are.'

Tears fall down my cheeks and unto the paper, which is half torn at the top because I have been pulling it so hard.

'I can't tell you where I'm going because you'd think I was crazy. But I'm safe and happy here. I hardly took anything with me. I even left my phones because the only person I'd want to speak with is you and I'd probably cry if I did. The things is, Ambs, dancing is my drug. That sounds so stupid and crazy. Even selfish. But it's what I have to do. It's what I need to do so I can keep on being who I am to you today. But another thing you must remember is that I'm not abandoning you. And the only reason I am where I am is because I love you too much for you to see me in the state I would be if I was lying next to you at this moment.'