Perri and Him-the fifth book to series 'Perri and Me' about Perri Kiely

Chapter 4 Part 1

I wake up the next morning and the first thing I notice is that I'm still in the dreadful hospital gown. I take it off before having a long warm shower. Then I change into some black jeans and a black silk, long sleeved top. It's late October and is getting colder.

It's only when I'm brushing my hair than I remember what I said to Mitch last night. Hasn't it been Mitch that has always been there? It shouldn't be like that. It should be Pel looking out for me. I get a text from Lucy:

'Took Reid to the mall. Will drop him off this evening, yeah? Sure you miss him. Xx'

I do miss Reid. I'm actually feeling more alive than I've felt in weeks. Maybe it's a good thing not to be pregnant again. But I can't help thinking like I did something wrong. Like it was my fault I lost the baby.

The doorbell rings before I can think of crying.

"Mitch." I think.

I walk up to the door and open it. Yes- it's Mitch. And he's holding hands with Kim.

"Kim!" I say, trying to sound as excited as possible.

She let's go of Mitch and throws her arms around me.

"Amber, we know where Pel is.." She says, putting her hands on my shoulders.

Her near black hair is cut short up to her shoulders and she smiles at me with her red lips. She's wearing jeans, and a fluffy, brown coat.

"Where..." I sigh.

"Skye's house." Mitch says.

"He went to Skye's?" I nearly shout, feeling sick. "Why-"

"Skye's Mum is the therapist Karen hired." Kim says. "Skye just happens to be staying with her Mum for the week. We did the modelling thing together. She called me last night after coming back from the airport and told me that Pel was in her house-"

"And why would I want to see him?" I snap.

"We should go.." Kim says.

"No- we shouldn't." Mitch says. "The poor guy's depressed. He doesn't want any of us around."

"No- he doesn't want me around." I say, tears stinging behind my eyes.

"Whatever. Who cares about him? He needs to be spoken to. He better have a good reason to explain why he just took off like that." Kim snaps. "You don't even have to look at him. I'll do all the talking, okay?"

I nod.

"Do you have any breakfast? We're starving.." Kim laughs.

We talk about how we're going to confront Pel over some bread, toast and eggs which I hardly eat any of.

"I'll be right back..." I say, before walking back into my room

A wave of sadness pours over me and I suddenly feel like everything's that's happened is all my fault. I feel like Pel being upset is my fault. I feel like the loss of our baby is all my fault. I feel like if we break up, it'll be all my fault as well.

Worst of all, I hate him for some reason like I've never hated him before. I don't love him like I used to. He was all I wanted four and a half years ago, now I'm just always mad at him. I don't know why. I feel like he doesn't love me either. I want him to love me.

I need him to love me so badly...

I wrap my arms around myself feeling cold before gathering my stuff together into my bag. The door opens slightly and then Mitch walks in.

He sits beside me.

"Amber..." He sighs.

I run a hand through my hair, trying not to cry.