when he sees me | Jared Kleinman x Reader |

21. Dear Connor Project Community

Y/n's p.o.v.:

We were all in our calculus class, well me, Jayden, and Jared.

Evan was nowhere to be found and I could feel a strange vibe coming from the two of them. Since this morning I've wanted to talk to Jayden about GV and maybe she could help out.

However, Jayden was pissed of this morning and didn't even wave back when I said hi. As for Jared, he was in his own word and he had headphones on. No one bothered the two as they walked through the hallway.

That's when I got a message from someone, Alana Beck.

I opened up my twitter and saw the message that she had reposted from another account named 'TheConnorProject'

I looked up and made sure the teacher wasn't looking as I continued to read the post.

" Dear Connor Project Community:

Connor's note is a message to all of us. Share it with as many people as you can. Post it everywhere.

If you've ever felt alone like Connor, then please consider making a donation to The Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard. No amount is too small. "

I stared at my phone in shock as I read the attached image to the post.

Dear Evan Hansen,

Turns out this wasn't an amazing day after all. This isn't going to be an amazing week or an amazing year, because why would it be?

I know, because there's Zoe, and all my hope is pinned on Zoe, who I don't even know, and doesn't know me. Maybe if I could just talk to her. Maybe nothing would be different at all. I wish everything was different.

I wish I was part of something. I wish that anything I said mattered to anyone. I mean face it, would anyone notice if I just disappeared tomorrow?

Sincerely,

Your most best, and dearest friend, Me

I looked up and away from my phone as I tried to keep my tears from falling. Who would share such a private letter out to the world? Was this even real?

I might not have known much about Connor but I felt like I could relate to him in so many ways. Just the thought of him killing himself from what I heard hurt me.

Jayden sat beside me and I saw that she also had her phone out. Small droplets of tears fell down her cheek and let watery marks as she covered her mouth. A small sob escaped her mouth, but it wasn't that loud so the no one really noticed.

"You got it as well." Jared stated making both Jayden and I turn at the same time and lock eyes.

"I didn't mean to expose Connor's letter." Jayden frantically whispered as she shook her head and looked down at the ground.

Her entire body began to shake as she began to fidget around with her blouse.

"I just wanted to get back at Evan for saying those things about us, it was only right to ruin his relationship with the Murphy's instead." Jayden began to justify.

"It was partially my fault as well, I gave Alana permission to post it when she asked me." Jared chimed in as they both stayed quite for a couple of seconds.

"What are you guys talking about?" I asked and the two looked at each other as if they were having a private conversation before looking back at me.

"We'll explain everything after this period." Jared said and with that they both went back to doing there own thing.

The period didn't end for what seemed like forever and when it did we all got out to the hallway and walked to the corner of the hallway before they began to explain.

"Both of us began to help Evan during the entire Connor Project fundraiser he wanted to make for the Orchard, along with Alana." Jayden began.

"But then he began to grow distant from us and he never thanked us, I guess we were kind of pissed off. A week past and whenever we past Evan he wouldn't say hello. He was always with Zoe." Jayden muttered as she said Zoe's name with disgust.

"Then he came back to us asking for help, he wanted us to help grab more attention to the Connor Project because Alana wasn't helping at all and the goal wasn't even fully met yet." Jared chimed in.

"He was to busy with Zoe and in the end I guess we weren't even friends." Jayden said more to herself.

"We wanted to get back at him for calling me a whore and ——" Jayden quickly stopped as she began to cry.

"He was a jerk and he deserved this, but we didn't intend for the letter to be posted everywhere. Alana never even got your email, so it wasn't your fault it was Evan that sent her the photo. I told her to go ahead when she told me she wanted to ask Evan." Jared quickly said as he began to pat Jayden's back.

Something about him comforting her made me fell jealous and I envied the relationship that they had. That could've been me. Luckily for me Jayden was lesbian.

At least that's what I thought before. Maybe she had feelings for Evan? If it was him that she liked then I would congratulate her, but I would never feel excited for her if she said she liked Jared.

"He deserves to see the people he loves suffer." Jared said angrily as he looked through the comments of the twitter post that Alana posted.

After that we all went to our own classes and when I got home I looked through all the comments under the post.

Alana did such an irreversible impact.

I continued to read these comments from being shocked at actually seeing the real suicide note, to people being mad at the Murphys.

" He wrote his suicide note to Evan Hansen, because he knew his family didn't give a shit ... His parents, by the way, are insanely rich."

" Evan Hansen was the only one who was paying attention "

" 'Like all my hope is pinned on Zoe' Zoe's a stuck-up bitch, I go to school with her, trust me "

" Fuck the Murphys "

" Their house is at the end of the cul-de-sac with the red door "

" Zoe's cell phone number, if my sources are correct "

" Keep calling until they answer. "

I could only imagine what the Murphys were feeling at this moment.

I shut off my phone not wanting to see anymore of these comments that were filled with hate and anger.

The Murphys didn't deserve to go through this hatred.

The situation that they were going through only involved the family not the entire world to see.

This is exactly why I hated Jared, he didn't care about anyone besides himself.

He wanted to see Evan suffer by letting Alana post his letter, but he did comfort Jayden.

Jared didn't change at all over these years.

I'm glad GV isn't Jared, if he was then I'd probably lose my mind.

____________

I found this online when I was looking for the lyrics in the you will be found reprise because I was lazy and didn't want to look it up in the book so I ended up finding a cut song.

This is basically the original you will be found and my heart was tearing apart.

Just listen to the song!

The link will be in the comments next to the link if it doesn't work or you can't copy it.

https://soundcloud.com/kylie-may-314025474/dear-evan-hansen-a-part-of-me-cut-song

- Muse