Vivi | nct

116: Narration

Note: I just want to say that I really support and appreciate Jaehyun so much, as a fan and as a normal human being. I hope he will always keep his chin up and that beautiful smile on his lips will never fade away. 💚

Tapos ang sakin lang talaga, mali siya. Mali talagang hindi siya nag-aya satin! Sagot ko na sana 'yung pulutan eh. Charot. Joke lang. Wala namang masama gumala (sa SoKor lamang po dahil under community quarantine pa ang ating bansa), apply proper social distancing lang talaga and wear face masks para sa kabutihan ng lahat.

Suvi's

After reading his last message, I can't stop breathing heavily. Ginapang ako ng matinding kaba at pag-aalala dahil natalo na naman ako. Natalo ako sa sarili kong nararamdaman.

Kagabi nag-usap na kami ni mommy tungkol sa totoo kong ama. Napunta kami sa usapang iyon dahil nakita niya si Lucas na siyang naghatid sa akin pauwi dito sa bahay kahapon. We talked and I figured out na okay na sina mommy at ang totoo kong ama. Mommy said it was a long process but they still somehow reconciled. My biological parents already talked kaya wala na rin akong ibang magawa kung hindi tanggapin ang katotohanan.

I admit it, I still feel mad about what my father did. I can forgive him however I will never forget about it. Itinago niya ang pagkatao ko sa pamilya niya. That was a very selfish move. He was so unfair. I didn't even had the chance to play with him when I was still a kid. Hindi niya ako sinuportahan habang lumalaki ako at pinabayaan niya kaming mag-ina. I was then a child who longed for a father's love but unfortunately, the odds weren't on my side. My father was selfish.

Pero ngayong nalaman kong kusa niya kaming hinanap ni mommy at gusto niyang bumawi, medyo napagaan niya ang loob ko dahil 'don. But the bitterness in me is still there and I think it'll never go away. He left me with a huge scar and he was the reason why I was so afraid to love. Traumatizing but I think it would be better to forgive too. To let go of the past and learn from it.

I snapped out of my deep thoughts when I heard a knock outside my door. Tumayo ako mula sa aking tukador at binuksan iyong pintuan. Si Manang ang bumungad sa akin.

"Bakit po?" Tanong ko.

"Hija, may naghahanap sayo sa baba," sabi ni manang. My eyes widened upon realizing what I almost missed. I almost forgot I'll be meeting someone today!

"Kaibigan mo raw, hija, kaya pinapasok ko muna sa balkonahe. Tirik na tirik din kasi 'yung araw sa labas, sayang naman ang mala-gatas na kutis non kung ipapabilad ko lang doon." Dagdag ni manang sabay ngisi sa akin.

Halos mapasinghap pa ako sa sinabi ni manang. Nagulat din ako saglit dahil bakit sa balkonahe lang? Then I realized he isn't known here. First time niyang makapasok dito na lagpas sa gate namin. Manang was just making sure for our safety inside the house, what if hindi si Jaehyun 'yung nagpakilalang kaibigan ko at magnanakaw pala? You'll never know kaya mas mabuting sigurado tayo.

"Gwapo ang binatang iyon! Manliligaw mo, Suvi?" Malisyosang tanong ni manang sa akin sabay ngisi ulit.

Napalunok naman ako dahil sa tanong ni manang. Manliligaw kaagad? Hindi ba pwedeng may kailangan lang bilang kaibigan kaya nagpunta rito sa bahay?

I immediately shook my head in defense. Baka isumbong pa ako ni mommy nito eh.

"Naku! Hindi po. May kailangan lang po 'yung sabihin sa akin." Agap ko.

Manang didn't buy my excuse kahit hindi naman talaga iyon excuse. I said that for real and that's the truth. May sasabihin lang naman talaga sa akin. Ewan ko bakit kailangan ko pang magbihis at sa labas pa talaga kami mag-uusap. We can talk here naman sa bahay?