Episode 33: How Do You Even Get A Pet Tiger?

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Warning: This episode deals with the ownership of an exotic animal. Indeed, the ownership of exotic animals is a debated topic I recommend being informed on before making assumptions or starting discussions. Overall, please don't start a dumpster fire in the comments section. You've been warned.

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February 12, 2019 ~ Houston, Texas

Every year, Texas prepares for the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo, a Texas-sized event that's said to be the biggest rodeo in the world (according to Texas). Such an event requires a lot of hands-on work, so it's not unusual for Texas's friends to help her out with preparations, notably those who love a good rodeo.

But this year, the Texan notices one state is missing. She can't seem to find him anywhere.

"Montana," she gets her attention, "have you seen Colorado?"

The Montanan shakes her head. "Have you tried calling him?"

"I tried, but he wasn't answering them. He texted me and said he would come later today." She grumbles, "It's already past noon. Not sure if I should be worried or pissed at him..."

Just as she's about to call him again, her phone starts ringing. She takes the call. "Colorado, where are you? You're supposed to be helping me with the-"

"Tex," he interrupts in a slow, yet serious voice, "I have something to tell you."

She makes a weird face. "You sound high... Are you-"

"I know! I know! It's illegal in your home... for now..."

She pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a deep breath. "I'm going to pretend this conversation never happened."

"Hang on! Hang on! I found something you're not going to believe."

"Is it your brain cells?"

"Close. I actually found a tiger."

"Uh-huh. Glad to hear you're having fun at the zoo." She's about to end the call.

"No, no! I mean, I know it sounds fucking crazy, but I actually found a tiger in this abandoned crackhouse."

"Why are you... Actually, nevermind." She takes a second to think about what Colorado said so far. "Are you sure what you're seeing is actually a tiger? Not some... giant dog. Or, you're not being delusional from whatever drugs you-"

"Come on, Tex! This is serious! There's this large tiger in this tiny cage within this shady house in the middle of the suburbs. I mean, there's kids playing out on the street! I doubt any of them want to be up-close and personal with a tiger. Like, I'm already freaking out being this close to the tiger's cage! Like, it's cool, but if it starts lashing at me it'll suck major balls."

She scowls. "What you're saying is hard to believe. How do I know you're not lying?"

Beep!

Texas is baffled by his sudden hang-up. She's about to curse when her phone makes a chime. She sees it's a message from Colorado. Attached to the message is a photo of Colorado having an adult tiger from outside a janky cage.

"Holy-" She covers her mouth.

Montana cocks her head, having listened to Texas's conversation while she worked. "What is it?"

She waves her off. "Just Colorado doing stupid things," she laughs, trying not to distract her with this new problem at hand.

Luckily for her, Montana buys her excuse. "I'll be setting up the trucks for display before I leave for the day."

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